X,
I miss you. It’s hard to resist not messaging you, or even attempting to see how you are doing. Sometimes, I get wrapped on this journey of needing and wanting to connect with you, to bring back our happiness in the past. What I know now is that we can never see each other, we went too fast, the sequence of events made it too real, too early… And letting go without closure, is perhaps one of the hardest skill to learn.
I no longer want to think about what happened, or remember. Sometimes that Coldplay song, brings back images of you that night. That stillness, your face pale, filled with fear, hurt, and regret. I can never forget that. I can never forget you. I can never forget us. I don’t want to move on, and I don’t want to love anyone else.
Even with this club music playing in the background, I wonder what I am doing here. The bass pounding as hard as my heartbeat.
Every Friday, there are always moments of weakness. Every Friday, I wonder what I can do to move on. Every Friday, I struggle to be myself without you. There is no turning back. We cannot be friends. We cannot date again. Time washes away our memories together. Time makes me stronger. Time may let us meet again.