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The Usual Type
Growing up in Singapore, it seemed like having discipline simply required persevering, pushing on. There were tons of systems in place that guided us — all we had to do was follow and do the best you can.
Granted, it wasn’t easy. Our school curriculum was challenging and there were so many extra-curricular activities where you could find one (or some) that matches your interests and stretch yourself. There were deadlines and grades, there were teachers, coaches and friends who all encouraged you either directly or just by social pressure.
We had to learn the content from a prescribed syllabus, know it well enough to fair decently in tests. Grades had consequences and determined the opportunities you could get. Accomplishments in sports were well-regarded and the social environment had always fostered that.
These influences helped us achieve a lot but as a good friend once remarked, it’s “artificial”.
For Startups
With startups however, you’re all on your own.
Taking investments come with a pressure, Startup Accelerators provide a type of environment similar to schools and needing to make a quick buck to pay the bills are all motivational factors that work. But when you choose not to have any, it’s a different game.
It’s not as though oh, without any external motivation I only want to binge on TV Series and lie in bed. Instead, it comes with different set of deterrents — not knowing when something is “good enough” to be shared, not knowing how exactly to focus, not knowing how much time to spend on one activity instead of another.
In my current situation, finding a new kickass technical co-founder is easily the priority, since everything else has been settled, and nothing can move until that happens.
The natural way is the best — knowing someone well as a person and becoming friends before anything startupy is mentioned, finding out she/he loves coding and then partnering because it works with both your interests. That is ideal. And I had that…. for a while.
But now that finding a technical co-founder is practically code red, I’m torn between doing it extremely deliberately or attend other events and hackathons. The latter lets me learn so much about the tech scene here in Paris / France / Europe but they’re not that effective for the code red cause and hackathons are extremely exhausting. Deliberately finding technical co-founders is a lot of work and given that my past attempts (admittedly uninformed and naive) were futile and even counterproductive, I’ve become so hesitant on this, even though I know I should just try.
What I think and know I should do is at odds with what I feel like doing, due to past mishaps, due to uncertainty, etc. That, there is the kind of discipline I’m so new to and struggling with.
The easy way out is to obviously impose some external motivational factors such that I’ll prioritize doing what is needed but I believe that there lies something special to be experienced without those.
When interest and passion are the sole driving forces, there no longer is this debilitating and suffocating pressure to make decisions and take action, and it leaves you to be free. Free to think, act and behave as though there isn’t a box. Ironically, that helps me produce work of a higher quality and here lies the dilemma.
I’m so used to situations where discipline is key, but now I’m in a place where discipline may actually be a hindrance?
P.s. There is no conclusion, I’m not here to preach advice but just starting a conversation. That you are most welcome to reply to and also help me out :)
P.s.s. Regular updates and documenting thoughts (like memories) are so valuable upon looking back. And I reckon this could be useful if (?) I have to do some report about how this gap year is going. Because my startup has progressed by millimeters although personally, there’s been so much more. It’s not quantifiable for sure nor do I feel like I can explain it but this is a start.
