So we’re not long back from a really nice cheap and cheerful holiday in Spain .Lots of nice sunshine ,really nice food and wine and precious family time .

The swimming pools were dreamy .The sun glistened on the refreshing shade of blue and after you dunked your shoulders ,the big chill disappeared .My husband and I both wanted to spend time in the pool so in order to do so we purchased a float for our fourteen month old .You know the type ,where their feet go right through it and their whole little body is kept afloat ,their little arms hang out over the sides so their fingertips dip in the water .

He was completely safe ,but obviously one of us stayed right next to him as he bobbed about .He enjoyed it,he kicked his legs ,he watched his daddy take long swim strides up and down the pool while wiping the splashes of water out of his eyes .Enjoying it but at the same looking cautious and continuously checking that I was still beside him .His normally confident personality was put on hold while he floated .That’s where it hit me.All of a sudden my mind was taken over thinking of all the beautiful ,innocent children ,forced to flee their country on a boat ,in the middle of the night and without the reassurance that they would be rewarded with safety .

I closed my eyes for a second and imagined myself to be one of their mothers ,and our boat had capsized and we were left floating in the deep dark ocean .I automatically reached out for my boy’s float and wanted to protect him more than anything. My little reality check game ( as like to call them from time to time) didn’t last too long because the pool bar music and the laughing and chatting from the other little swimmers made it hard for me to pretend that I was in the depths of deep misery .

Deep misery is exactly what it is .Mothers /Father’s losing that last grip of their little ones ,swept away,gone . Loud screams ,panic ,fear ,helplessness .

Imagine what little three year old Alan Kurdi felt before he was washed up on the beach in Turkey .Did the vast amount of water make him nervous like the swimming pool made my little boy feel ? Did he also look around for his Mummy ,hold out his arms for her ,in need of that safe feeling that’s provided with hugs and the reassuring words “ it’s going to be ok ” It wasn’t ok for Alan ,and it’s continuing not going to be ok for so many others .

I don’t understand the politics that go with this war , I read so many articles but after each one ,I feel more confused than I did before .

I do understand humanity though .My personal understanding of humanity is you treat others how you like to be treated .

I’ve also realised that I’m a bit tired of being a “ save the children keyboard warrior ” .I need to do more , but I’m clueless on what to do .

Following our fun afternoon at the pool ,we sat on our balcony .The little man pottered about with his toys while munching his way through fruit and we drank coffee in the evening sun .I realised at that point ,we are millionaires without the bank balance .My reality check game paid off .I want for nothing ,so that’s where I’ll start with my tiny bit of help towards Syria .Christmas is around the corner ,so as well as making life so much easier for myself becuase I won’t be in and out of shops ,whatever cash I have for gifts ,is all going to a Syrian aid charity and I’m asking anyone who would normally buy me a gift to do the same .We don’t need the stuff we think we need !

It’s a slow and small offering to an enormous problem but it’s a start .

Who’s with me ??

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