A few thoughts on perfection

I always strive to be perfect and iron out any imperfections. If I’m not perfect it annoys me and I get angry at myself, which happens more often than I would like.

But what am I really striving for? And why does it matter to me?

Everybody else

Everybody has flaws, which might lead you to wonder what your reference for a perfect person is? It’s everybody (even the flawed ones). Humans have this tendency to care a lot about their own flaws but not so much about those of others. So when painting your picture of who you want to be you probably have a tendency to include their features but forget their flaws.

So let’s say you know 10 people who are 50% flawed and 50% perfect each. Taking only their perfections, your composite person would be only 0.1% (0.5¹⁰) flawed or 99.9% perfect. And that’s exactly how your picture of “everybody else” looks.

Can I please be perfect?

Wishing to be perfect can be stressful and frustrating if you don’t know what to do or how to start. This might even lead you to ask the question: can I be perfect?

As we established in the previous section, you can very easily get an idea of what a perfect person is, just by compositing the people you know into one fictional, but perfect person. This is a very powerful tool that many people don’t know how to use, so they compare all of their insecurities to it and feel even worse. Your picture of a perfect person might also be a little cloudy and hard to really get a grasp on. So what do you do? Next time you find yourself saying things like “too bad I’m not like that” or “I wish I could do that”, try writing it down on a list. Yeah, I just said that: keep a list of all the things you’re awful at. Rather, keep them like a list of all the things other people are good at. So rather than “I don’t connect with people on a deeper level”, try “connect with people on a deeper level”. That is, don’t focus on your flaw, focus on the skill you want to acquire instead.

Then from here on, you pick one — and only one at a time — and work on that until you feel like you’re a better person. Then you move on to the next one.

I found that for me, I’m definitely becoming a better human every single day, although I’ve got a feeling that perfection keeps moving further away the “closer” you get.

Note that this was just some thoughts I had been having for some time which I wanted to share. Please feel free to correct my grammar.

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