Measuring your own success
We are often so focused on checking things off of lists (to-do, bucket, life goals) that we seldom stop to reflect on what we have actually done and achieved in our lives.
Key ideas that have kept me sane on my personal growth journey (ironically, a bulleted list)
- Reflection is crucial
- Focus on the process, not the goal
- Include other people
- Success is a perspective
- Progress over perfection
- Laugh at yourself. Daily.
Reflection is crucial
This post is a form of reflection for me. It is far from being a one size fits all approach. The idea is to have a way to look back at occurrences in your life that you feel have had an impact on you. I am a firm believer that everything that happens to you happens not only for a very good reason, but that it happens because of you. What I mean by this is that most of our feelings towards ourselves come because of the choices we make. Only once we start to reflect on our actions and take accountability can we truly grow and move forward rather than dwelling on the things we cannot change.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Focus on the process, not the goal
As simple as this idea seems it is the one that is the most difficult to implement. We are bombarded with content that directly relates to the idea that habits are crucial to “success” and that the perfect morning routine will set you up for this magical and mythical “success.” One of my heroes and all-time favorite authors, Robin Sharma, writes about the process rather than the goal in The 5am Club.
I believe that the most important takeaway from that book is not to change your whole sleep cycle, but rather to become the type of person that consistently shows up to your own club. Whether that club is AM or PM is completely irrelevant. You are the only one that knows what your current goal is. I say “current” because goals are ephemeral and will become immaterial the moment you achieve them. The point is to make it a part of who you are once you achieve them by honing in on the process that got you there.
Include other people
Because you are reading this there is a good chance that your ego has played a significant role in hindering your own progress. I have become well aware of my own ego constantly getting in the way. We are all guilty of thinking that we don’t need others to get things done. I’m sure you have heard the quote “If you want to get something done properly, do it yourself.”
Have you ever had that feeling of being left out of something? Maybe you weren’t invited to that “close friend’s” party/wedding or that “important” meeting. Whether it is personally or professionally, we are all human and it sucks to be left out of something that you think is important. So, why would you do it to the people in your life? My solution is DON’T.
You cannot “succeed” without other people. Include people in your process. This is important because if you include the right people with a similar mindset, they will encourage you and keep you accountable to whatever it is that you want. Remember the feeling of being excluded to make sure that you include people in your process.
“The simplest of actions is always better than the noblest of intentions.” — Robin Sharma
Success is a perspective
No matter where you look or how hard you try, you will only find true success once you have personally defined what “success” looks like… TO YOU. FOR YOU.
There is this notion that implies that there is some magical formula that we can follow to become “successful” in the most societal form of the word. The reality is that our lives and success are completely subjective and we should take the approach of focusing on what is important to us and not what others think. The point is to be intentional with your thoughts to ensure that you are always in a good state of mind — whatever that may be for you personally. That seems like a fluffy statement on the surface, but the truth is that nobody cares more about your own success or happiness more than you do.
The sooner you realize that the conversations that you have with yourself matter (subconsciously or with “that little voice in your head”), the sooner you can define success from your own perspective. Success is a choice the same way happiness is a choice and you are the only one who can make that choice. I encourage you to change your perspective and start choosing to be happy and watch how this will transform your world.
“The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” — Albert E. Gray
Progress over perfection
This is by far the toughest mantra to absorb. As humans, we are wired to talk ourselves out of doing difficult things. I truly believe that our greatest victories in life are a result of the sum of the daily internal battles that we have in our own mind. We are constantly telling ourselves that we are not good enough and letting fear of failure take control which leads us to inaction. How sad.
It is so important to “do the thing.” I am sitting here at 3 A.M. writing this because I started this thought journal almost a month ago and felt inspired to “do the thing.” I felt so good after getting started and then human nature kicked in and I started to be more pedantic about every paragraph and how I was getting my message across. Now, here I am, finishing what I started so long ago when I could have written and published this that same day. What’s even worse is that I have been wanting to write this for almost a year.
Do the thing! — A different take on Nike?
Laugh at yourself. Daily.
Humor has always been my best friend. I always find comfort in hearing somebody laugh or seeing somebody smile. I recently reflected on social media about something silly that I did and it was amazing to see all the responses from people who often did the same thing. Let me set the scene for you:
I was driving along the highway back from a long day at work and found myself in a sudden state of panic trying to figure out where my car keys are. 🤦🏻♂️
May I remind you of the times you have been on a phone call and scouring the house for your phone, or frantically searching for your reading glasses while they are on your head (sorry, mom). I see you smiling. Carry on. As you were.
Conclusion
We all do silly things and that’s great because we can all relate. I would love it for people to embrace the silly side of life and encourage one another to “do the thing” even though they are fearful of failure and what others may think. The truth is that we are all just trying to figure things out for ourselves and only once we realize that can we normalize the process and change the narrative as Simon Sinek suggests from failing to falling. Get up, try again and refine the process to hit your goals.
Do the thing → Fall → Laugh → Reflect → Repeat
Please choose happiness by finding joy in your life every day and be sure to share as much of it with others as you possibly can.
Kloveyoubye
