Make Yourself Priority

I am a priority, not an option.

The act of truly fully loving ourselves is one that we must continue to practice. When we truly love ourselves, we are able to be selfish and we learn how we need to take care of ourselves. Only when we truly learn to love ourselves first and foremost is the ripe moment when we discover how very worthy and valuable we are. Each and every single one of us are on this planet for a very divine purpose. We all are created from the Divine.

This affirmation is one that I hold near and dear to my heart. I spent the bulk of my life trying to fit in, be accepted and people please. Because I’ve always had a huge heart and want to always be there for others sometimes this creates the space of allowing ourselves to get taken advantage of. We give and give and give and please and please and please until we can’t take it anymore and we either choose to continue bottling it all up inside, we shut down, we run like hell or we begin to get extremely angry and resentful. I’ve seen and experienced all of the above. Trust me, none of it feels good and none of it is healthy. The key is to figure out yourself and what your “breaking point” is. The interesting thing I’ve learned is when you are taking care of yourself and you understand yourself and your own needs you can then give as much as you want without any of the above happening. The more you make yourself priority, the more your heart expands.

Learning how to truly embrace being an empath, a people pleaser, a selfless natured person can be a journey but once you can learn to see it all as gifts — you become strong and unstoppable. It does not have to be traits that make you think you are weak or a doormat, etc. etc. etc. It is a strength.

The important thing across all circumstances and relationships (online and in person) is to just be real and talk. When you don’t speak up or come from your heart and show up raw, real and vulnerable and continue to try to put on airs or hold back to try and keep everything even keel — it will make the person / people / situation that much worse. What we must do in these circumstances is SPEAK up for ourselves as it comes. It’s better to share what’s coming up for you and share that with that person (or people). Chances are they might not have the slightest clue that you are feeling how you are.

So, have the conversation. No matter how hard it is. 
Humans need to have very human moments. 
Because vulnerabilities are what allows for the heart to heart connections.

The other key thing I’ve learned through my many experiences of not making myself a priority is the concept (oh so important) of getting clear and sharing your boundaries. Be clear with when you are available up front to avoid all these icky feelings from coming up later. This helps set your client/loved ones/colleagues expectations and what they can expect from you. So much easier! No one knows until you know them for yourself. They of course will ebb and flow and evolve with you. Just like different relationships you will have different boundaries. Only you know your energy and how you want to show up to people.

Same goes for the friends and relationships you have in your life. You should always feel loved, heard and held. Just like you should be there for them. You should always tune into the energy, the way you feel around the person. If you don’t feel good generally speaking it is time to check in. Sure, sometimes things (emergencies) do come up (that’s life) but when you find yourself always being the giver or always the first one to reach out and you genuinely feel like that person does not really care about you — it might be time to either have a heart to heart with this person or to reevaluate your relationship.

If after you have the talk they still don’t seem to change or they say they don’t really feel like the connection is serving them than trust that you stood up, shared what you were feeling and you are most importantly realizing and making yourself a priority, not someone’s optional connection. Trust that as we evolve and grow some relationships will shift and change. The main point is that you are surrounded by people that truly do care about you and you feel good around. No one deserves to be surrounded by negative people or faux friends.

Believe that YOU are a worthy human being and you are a PRIORITY. For yourself first and foremost. We can’t be at full service if we refuse to take care of ourselves. How can you start making yourself a priority, not an option today?

Hit that little green heart, if you dig this.

I host a daily podcast — Real Talk with Ashley

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