You look at her over a candle lit dinner and wonder how you could ever be so lucky. She’s everything you’ve ever asked for and everything you’ve ever masturbated to; she’s perfect. But once the mask deteriorates, you suddenly find yourself in bed with a monster. Not sure? See if she meets the criteria:
8 Signs Your Girlfriend is Psycho
1. Does she call, text, email, tweet or Facebook you constantly throughout the day? If you’re not actively participating, run. Whether she genuinely believes you never received her other texts or she just wants to make sure she stays on your mind, this is a BRIGHT red flag.
2. How does she get her way in your relationship? Does she sanely communicate her emotions or does she use psycho tactics such as threats and misplaced tears? Beware of a woman who tells you she’ll withhold sex if you don’t do as she says. Other more common threats include,”If you go out with your friends, I’m going tell everyone your dick shrivels to a sad face when it’s cold.” And does she cry at the most inappropriate times? She can’t ALWAYS be hormonal… can she?
3. Does her alter ego erupt when she drinks? Suddenly feel like you’re dating Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? Such behavior indicates a collection of deeply rooted issues and unless you’re charging by the hour, this isn’t the kind of baby sitting you should be doing. Booze should never bring out the crazy in a person, and if it does, you need to get the hell out.
4. Is she overly jealous? Does she flip a shit at your kindness towards a female waitress? If you’re constantly going out of your way to avoid contact with other women because you fear it’ll be misinterpreted as a love affair, run. Remember that a good chunk of the population consists of women.
5. Does she take steps forward in the relationship without you? How big is her drawer at your place, really? If you find yourself suddenly engaged without having purchased a ring, it may be time to reassess the situation. The psycho girlfriend has a funny way of making things happen without your consent. Don’t let her trick you…remain alert.
6. Are boys nights out out of the question? Does she allow you to have a life outside of your relationship? If your girlfriend genuinely believes you should be attached at the hip at all times, the red flag has been waved. Is she out of town? If so, she’ll probably demand a play by play of each night’s activities… and although secrets are not healthy, neither is having to give a headcount, name and background of every person present at a party. Oh, and beware of ANY woman who demands you “end it” with close friends and family members.
7.Is she constantly snooping? Whether it’d be cell phones, emails, Facebook, or your panty drawer, this is definitely scary behavior. It’s almost as if she’s saying, “If you don’t INVITE me, I’ll come in ANYWAY!” If the boundaries had been marked and she feels no need to respect them, you’re definitely dealing with a psycho.
8. Do you suddenly have a female doppelganger? Suspicious that such a woman doesn’t exist? You’re probably right. If you find your girlfriend copying your every move and suddenly expressing interest in your most obscure hobbies, she’s trying to ensure acceptance. And let’s face it, the woman with a brand new buzzcut and obsession with Miller lite is not the the woman you asked out to dinner.
All previous jokes aside, the psycho girlfriend is no laughing matter. Red flags such as the cling factor and methods of manipulation should NOT be ignored. A healthy relationship consists of two people who trust one another and are comfortable expressing fears and other emotions are they come. If you’re still in doubt, even after the list above, ask your friends for their opinion- assuming they have yet to offer it.
If you’re the psycho girlfriend, do you see how ridiculous you look? Stop now, seek help and regain the little dignity you have left. You’re NOT ready to be in a relationship and you’ve got issues to be dealt with before you hurt anyone else. Stop embarrassing our gender and forcing every single male out there to carry a knife for protection. Not all women are crazy and we’re sick and tired of you giving us a bad name.
