Aftercare

Regardless of whether I’m domming, subbing, topping, or bottoming, after an intensely pleasurable and cathartically painful session, I need to ground myself back into my baseline. I need to practice aftercare, the deliberate ritual of self soothing, nourishing, and rest to come back to what is my normal.

Electrified pussy licking, spankings, bondage, canings, cages, and deliberately dirty words are familiar friends. Most all of my sessions I’ve enjoyed have been on camera, where I feel permitted to truly to push my limits for my performative art and for my own bodily curiosity into kink that is sated on a professional set.

Aftercare is absolutely essential after kinky play. It is very similar to the care encouraged after a long hard day, exhausting emotional labor, and physical exertion. Aftercare is the practice of replenishing what was lost during work. Because every session can deplete you differently, aftercare for each session can be just as unique.

My basic check in ritual to fine-tune my aftercare looks like this.

Options for Needs, Wants, and Have are totally tailorable

BDSM heavy sessions take effort and energy in the buy in and temporary release of in real life stresses, but the payoff is great. The payoff can also leave your body tired and sore. It can leave you a little cum or kink drunk from the rushing endorphins. Depending how you’ve been playing, you may also end up very hungry and dehydrated. Aftercare is a way to replenish spent physical and emotional energy. Because normal routines, life, and work have a funny way of resuming after playtime, good aftercare can be a way to ease back into those day to day demands.

There is no cookie cutter way for people to practice BDSM. Some people are corporal heavy dommes, bratty power bottoms, emotional masochists, and a million other identities in the scene. One thing we can agree on is that the experience of BDSM is a medium through which we can put our body through extreme situations. In a good session, our nervous systems are put through their paces. Our hearts race; our bodies sweat in excitement, exertion, pain, and pleasure; our muscles clench and unclench in the physical demands of our play. At the end of it all, it’s important to take care of yourself and practice aftercare.


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