Why sleep is an evil train to nowheresville


Why is sleep so nasty? Why does it trick you? It lures you into thinking you are so sleepy so you gleefully head off to bed. Your head hits the pillow, you have that moment of joyous snuggling of your pillow shimmy. You lay there thinking I am so going to fall asleep tonight. What a perfect night for sleep. Yep one ticket to sleep train here I come. Yep train is a’com’in….here it comes….hmmm…train? I could of swore it was on its way to the station. That’s odd the tracks have gone missing. Oh right I forgot my body only likes to freaking sleep when the alarm for work goes off. Well FU sleep. FU and your sleepin sleep sleepy train who needs you?!?! Only I do I need you to work with me. If I do everything right, a cool breeze in my room, no TV, comfortable bed, I need you to not mess with me. When you make my hair tickle just as I drift off only to wake me up, that is f’ed up. When you make my restless leg syndrome flair up (yes it’s a thing and I have it and it sucks balls) just at that precious moment where I am about to drift off down the tracks of dream train only to be jarred awake by the feeling of needing to violently kick my legs flailing at the heavens in a desperate plea to any supernatural being, that i don’t completely believe in, to give me the chance at a decent night sleep only to be awoken, that is mean. For the love of God let me sleep. Nope says the night. Nope you will go gaze at endless facebook streams reloading over and over again reading more and more about how depressing life is and all the animals that look like various dessert photos. Let me check that stupid app game I installed one last time, let me play one more round of solitaire, let me see if Bernie has won Illinois. Uggggghhhh….let me sleep. It’s now 2am and my blankets are hot, my cozy bed has a giant heat spot from where my active body has been lying for the last 3 hours. My feet are freezing from my cool breeze, but too hot to put into the inferno of my blankets. My eyes stare hoping to trick my mind into slumber. Hoping to fool it into thinking I have been awake for apparently the right amount of time dictated by the evil brain sleep train station master. One day, one day, I will rule this sleep, one day I will figure you out, one day I will have my sleep. Until then I wonder if someone posted a funny meme of clinton voters versus sanders voters on facebook….

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