The Growth Of A Virtuous Woman

Took some time but your blossoming into a butterfly . .

“Who can find a capable wife? She is for more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will not lack anything good. She rewards him with good, not evil all the days of her life” — Proverbs 31:10–12

On September 28th 2016 I turned 21 years old and looking off into the water on that rooftop, something about that moment told me I solidified my turning point and reached a milestone in my growth as a virtuous woman. I looked amazing but most importantly I felt inside even better than I’ve felt in a while. 2016 was one of the worst years in my life, the struggles and issues I went through truly broke me down to my core. Beneath every layer of who I thought I was, who I was becoming and who I am was broken down. Stripped down to your core by your obstacles, who you really are is revealed. My mindset of how I handled stressful situations was definitely tested and there was times I definitely gave in to these issues and let it take over my life. Its so easy to let your issues consume you and that’s exactly what I let happen. There was times I literally felt like the devil was throwing every obstacle my way. I felt like what else could I experience that was worst than what I just went through. I let it take over who I was and no matter if I was smiling on the outside I was dying on the inside. I had to realize I cannot control everything that gets thrown my way but I can control how I deal with it. And, I can’t just let every issue drive me crazy or make me sad all day either. When what your dealing with consumes you, it most importantly affects the energy that you let out into the world. I wouldn’t want to be around a person who spews negative energy all day so I can’t be that person that does that either. Sometimes I feel like people don’t truly understand why I can be so energetic or have such a lively personality most of the time. That stems from pain and becoming victorious over conquering and deciding to be happy. Choosing to be happy after such a hard time period was such a hard thing. Choosing to be happy doesn’t always cost you something but sometimes it does. Choosing to be happy sometimes is the choice of losing someone, you may love them but your happiness comes first. Everyday I wake up I pray to God that I have a good day and keep a positive spirit because I know how it feels to wake up and not want to even wake up. I’ve dealt with what I felt like is depression throughout my life and it truly has made me into the person I am today. People wake up everyday going to war with silent obstacles and battles that no one could even think about. God truly gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, so if your reading this . . Don’t give up and don’t let what your going through define you it definitely is easier said than done but everyday things may not necessarily get easier but the next day can be looked at as a new opportunity to take a step in the right direction toward happiness.

Sometimes in life you may not understand why something is happening to you at that moment in time, you may not understand what is exactly going on to begin with. And it is not for you to understand . . At the moment something may seem like the end of the world . . But in time God works everything out and everything will be understood in time . .

My obstacles this year although it broke me down, it made me who I am today and I did not let it destroy the progress that was happening, I let it add to it. I chose to be the victor and not the victim and let it add to my testimonial. It breaking me down lead me to seek and find God. I seeked, I found and I accepted God into my life to steer me in the direction I am supposed to be in. I had to come to realize everything that I am going and went through is for a reason and it is all a test to get a life lesson. These obstacles was put in my life to break me down, to build me back up and piece and mold me into the beautiful woman I am becoming . . Once I adopted that mentality, God made me fearless . .

“10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

Overcoming my obstacles and gaining a relationship with God changed my perception of the woman I ultimately want to become. We as woman are bombarded with all these different images every single day that shape and constantly change our perception of what beauty is, what a woman should dress, talk and behave like. In the bible Proverbs 31:10–31, it lists what it means to be virtuous woman, a woman of God, the woman every woman should desire to be like. All the qualities mentioned are not emphasizing outer beauty. In my generation I feel sometimes that the images that are being feed of whats beautiful to young girls are just not accurate. Looks is not everything, your character, your inside is what makes you that virtuous woman. That’s what makes you that beautiful woman. Its so easy to get caught up on the outside that the inside can be neglected. So as much as I take care of my outside, I try to constantly work on my inside. Sometimes I seriously have to detach myself from these superficial attachments to remind myself whats most important. Attachments to these material things can truly takeover who you are as a woman with the right amount of time. I myself am not the ultimate virtuous woman but with growth I hope to be one day. I hope to be the inspiration one day for my daughter to look up to and admire. . I want to be my daughters idol and guide the way for her to be virtuous woman as well . . Every woman should strive to have these qualities described and every man should want these qualities in his wife.

A woman’s body is beautiful but a woman’s mind holds no boundaries. Every woman should strive to be more rare and precious than jewels. That means finding a man who values her just as much as she values herself. The man you love should trust in you and want to become one with you. When you truly love yourself you won’t question that the man you are with loves you. He will never put himself in a situation to hurt you because you are apart of him. So hurting you will hurt him. He will never put himself in a situation to lose you because he knows how rare and of a precious gift you are and all that you bring to his life. If you put yourself on a pedestal your man will measure up to that pedestal perfectly because that is being equally yoked. He will never question being with you, marrying you or wanting you forever because in his heart there is no other way he would want to live without you. When you are that rare and precious of woman you know your worth so you will not even look at losing a man that is unfit for you as anything. You didn’t lose him, it will always be that he lose you.