A letter to the fear of criticism

LOOD
LOOD
Jul 22, 2017 · 3 min read

Dear fear of criticism. Dear fear of judgement. Why do I have problem with you? Is it because I fear being ridiculed? Is it because I fear being isolated and left alone?We humans are social animals, and we have this urge of being accepted and being loved. Most of us operate around cultural orbits we grew in, and it’s scary for us to do something that jumps out of the norms. But it’s not just jumping out of the norms. I am scared to even do simpler things. I’m not even challenging some of others deepest beliefs and values, but rather I’m being opposed just with someone’s opinion. But why do I fear it? I fear it because I didn’t develop enough self love, I didn’t develop enough self confidence and self esteem. Why didn’t I developed it. Blame it on the parents? It just washed up already. I’m not going to do it.We all need the leap of faith. I’m even scared to publish this letter to the world because again I fear that it’s not good enough, no one is going to like it, all of you are going to ignore it, or what is even worse you will judge it, and judge me. You will say how my grammar is just terrible and how my style of writing looks like I’m from foreign country and don’t even know the rules of language. (Which is true) You will tell me to stop even trying because I’m to bad at writing. And for the love of God stop writing about your feelings you’re not a girl. You pussy! And faggot! Man are not meant to write or think about those kinds of things. A lot of you call it chick lit! Talking about your emotions. But guess fucking what, all of us have those kinds of emotions. We all struggle with them.I’m just writing this and blabbing and I feel comfortable because I know I’m not going to publish this letter. Hehe! I feel safe, because for once again I’m going to stay in my comfort zone and neglect change. And because of it I’m a pussy, and you’re a pussy. Scared of opinions of others. Haha! And you don’t even know that nobody cares. No one. Maybe your mother! I’m still scared to publish it. It’s to personal. I’m afraid people will ridicule me. Talking about my emotions. Grow up pussy! Or worse, they will think I’m insane, I need therapy! Uuuu!And finally, maybe nothing will happen…? Maybe it’s all up in my head, maybe nobody cares… And why do I care? Why? Why are we afraid of showing vulnerability? Being vulnerable? Big deal. We all are, but we became so good in creating and putting millions of masks on our faces. We don’t even know who we are for God sakes. We don’t even know who we are! We are so small and scared beings. For fuck sake! And our entire lives are passing by living this narrative! Who am I? Am I good enough, what should I do with my life? Which career to pursue, who do I love? Is love possible and worth it? Who has the fucking answers!? Show him to me? Point your finger to him? No one? All we know is that we are born, and we need to die. And in the middle of it we have those question marks above our heads, the whole time. Sometimes there’s smile on our faces, sometimes there’s frowns. And we, yes we… know….nothing….Dear fear of criticism, I just published it! Thank you!

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LOOD

LOOD

Inspiring people to create beautiful future - Instagram @lovinglood

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