What I have learned from fatherhood

Dear Mum, you don’t deserve your own day

Ok, I’ve just riled up a few mothers there but let’s face it no one deserves their own day, be it Mother’s Day… the commercial day to trick people into spoiling mum, Father’s Day… the commercial day to trick people into making dad do a tonne of chores all while we say we love him, or birthdays… the day I now affectionately call Eviction Day.

Let’s start with Mother’s Day. The very idea is kind of dumb. Think about it seriously for a second. We are supposed to thank mum for doing something that every female creature on earth does? Do chimps or hippopotamuses or snakes or lionesses or lemurs or tigresses etc get a special day to celebrate pushing something out their vaginas? No. If any of these animals and more could understand us then they would laugh their butts off (especially if they are a baboon) at us giving mum a day to herself just because she gave birth. It’s a stupid notion to do this and in effect the only people who benefit from Mother’s Day is the florists and chocolate makers.

The same can be said for Father’s Day which is not celebrated with the same vigour as Mother’s Day. Apparently it’s not that difficult being a dad and so instead of getting a day off we get a few presents and a list of chores to do. Where’s our day off? Oh that’s right we don’t need a day off because apparently we do stuff all as fathers to warrant a day off.

Then we come to that special day we all have, our birthday or as I eluded to before, Eviction Day. Apparently we get to celebrate that one special day where we were evicted from a nice warm place that had all the food we ever needed, comfort, caring, and solitude. Sure it was cramped and wet but it was our home and some trollop has now just forced us out into a cold, noisey place where now we have to actually ask for food? Not to mention the fact that we just had our butt spanked. Why are we being spanked when she’s the one who cold heartedly ejected us from our home?

This form of human worship does not bode well with God because it goes against the first of the 10 Commandments:

You must not have any other gods besides me. — Exodus 20:3

We humans don’t deserve special attention simply for doing things that are natural like being born or giving birth, or ejaculating into our wife. Incidentally there are only two birthdays mentioned in the Bible and both were cast in a negative light. And the day of Jesus’ birthday wasn’t even mentioned in the Bible at all. I mean if you want the world to celebrate your eviction day then you would tell everyone when it is wouldn’t you? The best we get is a time frame based on cultural activities and political feelings which actually put the birth of Jesus at least two months before when everyone claims it was.

The very idea of waiting for one day of the year which is now more commercial than celebratory is kind of offensive. Mum doesn’t deserve a special day to be told she is loved that should be shown every day. The same can be said for dads.

Growing up as a child of Jehovah’s Witnesses we never missed out because we didn’t celebrate Christmas or Easter or Eviction Days. Our parents rewarded us when we were good more often than not they’d just give us presents randomly. We got more not less and each gift was special because we didn’t expect it each year. Life was happy for us kids.

So no, mum and dad don’t deserve special days for their part in bringing you into this world and you don’t deserve a special day for coming into it. Stop being entitled brats and show that you love your family daily. Prove you love your parents each day by treating them with the respect and dignity they deserve as those who spent your life looking after you, raising you with your values, and trying to protect you from the horrible world out there.