I’m wishing
For you to stop victimizing yourself. Stop trying to buy into this thought that others let you down. Stop using depression as your protective cover that others were the one who let you down and that you are now able to let go and forgive them. You want to be the bigger person? Then why not come and ask for forgiveness from me?
Forgiveness for sexting belle
Forgiveness for cheating on tinder twice
Forgiveness for lying that things are purely platonic between you and Gail yet she’s come to tell me how you sexted her more than once
Yes, perhaps what others, including your current fuck buddy in Singapore, said was right. You just don’t love me as much as I thought you did. I was deluding myself.
Stop writing if you’re not capable of telling the truth. Stop trying to regain this honour of a man if you haven’t the maturity (I don’t think you need sanity for that, if you can still preach about humility and morality in your essay pieces) to see where you’ve gone wrong. Stop saying that your depression is the king of all reasons so much that others should help you get better first before correcting you on your lies and mistakes. Stop telling others that it’s them – the scientists in your old labs who were unethical, me who destroyed you when in the very session of psychiatric evaluation, you attributed it to your mom and your dad, the very family you have. The very people who have lied to you since young.
You complicated matters by using depression to ridiculously justify the need to cheat. You spoke of neglect and lack of company from me. I speak of how I flew back 8 times in the span of 5 months when I was in Vietnam and increased it to 4 times in the span of 2 months in Bangkok. I speak of how I wanted to fly back for you more often but you said it was time-consuming for you. Yet meeting the two abovementioned girls and sexting them wasn’t time-consuming.
If you want to move on, admit your mistakes. If you can’t because of your narcissism/ego, please just stop writing about this “bigger” person you have been/become. Please be an honest advocate of depression, that is, telling complete truth. Please stop trying to regain that Honour of the old you. Just build new Honour with people the newborn you
