Yes. Just…yes.
Aya Kona
31

Ironically, many people who are from abusive families think that they do have a great family because their abusers tell them they do and they know nothing else. They then blame themselves for their family not approving of them. If you think you have a great family but you always feel disappointed in yourself because no matter what you do you can’t please them or live up to their standards and you’ve tried to do so a gazillion times and never quite managed to figure out what they are looking for, you may not actually have that support system and you may want to look into signs of abuse to see if your family fits into that category, and there are a lot of websites and books that have info on abuse (the book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft is a good one to read for info, and there are free PDFs of it, in full, if you can’t buy the book). It is those who were not abused by their families that have this support system; the ones who were abused by nobody in their life have the strongest support system of all. Mind you, the effect of the support system of a good, nonabusive family can be lessened if the family unwittingly supports abusive teachers, therapists, and other such people, which can happen, especially since if an abusive adult does something to a kid, they are unlikely to tell the parents because it is only natural for them to think the parents will side with the adult because the parent did send the kid to that person, which implies to a kid that the parent approved of everything the person does, even if the parent did not actually intend to send that message.

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