Let’s stop shifting the blame on racism.
If you don’t vote for Joe Biden, then “you ain’t black.”
Probably the most notable gaff of the Biden 2020 campaign came in May when he quipped that any Black people still deciding who to vote for “ain’t Black” if they don’t vote for him. The knee-jerk reaction is to write the incident off as generally innocent. Cringey, sure — but a rhetorical mistake at worst.
The problem is that Biden’s candid “slip up” is part of a deeper conversation on racism that we are only beginning to unearth. We know what overt racism looks like. We can point it out in the blink of an eye. …
Scrolling through pins of women smiling, holding cake and french fries.
So, maybe it’s my fault for going to Pinterest to search for helpful pins on binge eating disorder (BED). I figured there’s no harm to it. I consult Pinterest for a variety of information, maybe there’s an entire Pinterest community of people with BED sharing advice through the platform?
Obviously, I don’t think Pinterest is the equivalent to therapy nor do I believe that it is the job of this site to provide resources like this. At a time when people are leaving mental health and self-care advice all over the internet, why not check out what Pinterest has to offer? …
…what did I do wrong?
The goal is always to resonate.
I mean — right? Regardless of whether you’re writing a poem or some handy list the goal is always to connect with someone in a meaningful way. Sometimes I do get upset when a post receives only a few claps. Which, in a way, is fine. If my writing sucks, then my writing sucks. This is by no means a rant against readers.
Rather, I think it’s important to point out that sometimes your writing isn’t the problem. Often times the problem is how you choose to present your writing to the world. Digital marketing is all about optimizing a message to the right audience member, then delivering that message at the right time. …
So, here’s what I do know…
I’ve rewritten and deleted and rewritten and deleted and rewritten this post and can’t seem to figure out how to talk about being voluntarily single without sounding:
- Bitter.
- Pathetic.
- Like I’m lying to myself.
I like being on my own and that isn’t exactly a novelty.
I am none of these things. I’m happy for those in relationships and am hopeful for those looking for love, but I am neither. I’m also not asexual. I just like living in the moment and in this moment, I’m happy being alone.
I’ve held off on writing this post for quite some time. Mostly because I don’t think there’s any novelty to it outside of the fact that it’s made me face that reality that I hide behind my weight. If you read the title, I hope you aren’t here for some rant about living a loud and proud single life or whatever — those are just depressing. …
Illegality isn’t a strong enough argument in the face of wreckless over-policing.
I am notorious for paying poor attention to my surroundings. I always say that if someone is in peril of being followed out of a store, it’s me. I spend the majority of my time in my own head and I’m pretty aware of that, so when a moment from my childhood sticks I know it’s for a reason.
I vividly remember a conversation I had with my dad when I was around 10 years old. We somehow got on the subject of stealing and I argued that a man is morally justified in stealing bread if it is to feed his family. Obviously, I didn’t use this exact verbiage, because 10, but I knew stealing is wrong and I’ve always been deeply empathetic. …
Other people’s experiences matter, too.
I’m sitting in Starbucks listening to the conversation next to me, as per usual.
“This is a real thing with a lot of women. Doctors don’t listen to them. It’s like — a lot of women say this. Doctors don’t listen to me.” A young woman says to her male friend. He quickly replies, “Well, maybe they [the doctors] know something you don’t.”
The argument that “doctors don’t listen to women” isn’t new. A man denying that it’s really happening also isn’t new. This brief conversation highlights a major problem with the way we view personal anecdote. …
We demonize “copiers” and praise “originality” but humanity prospers through iteration.
Of all the modern-day taboos and social expectations, it’s pretty well known that copying is a big no. You can dye your hair pink and shop exclusively at thrift stores, but if you do this immediately after someone else then you run the risk of being deemed a “poser” that’s “desperate to be unique.”
If you think this phenomenon is arbitrary and pointless, that’s because it is. If you think the example above is just some teen-angst riddled scenario, it isn’t.
Regardless of your views on copying we’ve all been guilty of adapting someone's style, beliefs, ideas, habits, personal traits, and much more into elements of who we are. We don’t completely throw out who we used to be, rather outside elements have an influence in the way we change or grow. …
It’s all fun and games until you become obsessed with your weight.
So, here’s what I know for sure:
- I don’t have a healthy relationship with food.
- I can become obsessive over getting everything “right.”
These two traits often lead to me consuming a lot of nutrition research, medical journals, and YouTube fitness influencer videos (Natacha Oceane is my favorite). Through this, I discovered a nutritionists blog — here on Medium — that lead to me wanting to try something new. There’s nothing wrong with trying a new tip to see if it will benefit your morning routine, workflow, health regimen, etc.
Often times they either just don’t work out or change your life for the better. In my case, this tip made my health routine better by first making everything a total nightmare. …
On social media, tribal epistemology, and cancel culture.
It has truly been a banner week for toxic internet culture. Just a few highlights:
- Tati Westbrook, YouTube beauty influencer, uploaded a video formally disassociating herself from James Charles, another YouTube beauty influencer. The video — pointing to warrantless allegations of predatory sexual behavior — caused millions of fans to “cancel” said Charles in an unprecedented social media fall out to the tune of losing 3 million subscribers. The video also lead to more warrantless allegations by random people online and plenty of your run of the mill online harassment.
- Alabama passed the most restrictive abortion ban in the nation, leading to people opposed to the bill wishing rape on those that support it and people that support the bill calling those that don’t baby murderers. …
The problem with “work smarter, not harder.”
I have a handful of go-to childhood stories, not because they are fun or traumatizing, but because they taught me something invaluable. For example, when I was five the boy that sat next to me in kindergarten insisted that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. I’ll never forget it. It was the day I learned common sense may not be so common.
Fast-forward about ten years to when I was 15. It was a few days before Christmas Eve, we had family in town for the holidays, and a few of us decided to go to the grocery store. We needed sliced almonds for a recipe. My immediate reaction was to grab the whole almonds because they were cheaper than the sliced almonds and I could just slice them myself. …
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