Jennifer, thank you so much for writing this. This has really made me rethink some of my own behavior and approaches to things like “not all men” — things to which I’ve typically had a sort of reflexive eye-roll. And I admit, I have occasionally used the word neckbeard in a pejorative sense. Your essay has made me reconsider much of my own (often, I shamefacedly admit) unacknowledged privilege.
I also wanted to say, though, that this is simply a gorgeous piece of *writing.* The structure, the language, the clarity of the sensory memory and recounting — just beautiful! I suspect I will be reading this at least a few more times.