If you must leave you will leave
Aref is a serious man with a lovely smile and a zen-like attitude. He arrived on the island of Lesbos in June 2016 and is now living at Kara Tepe — where the International Rescue Committee has been responding since the summer of 2015 — with his wife, Zahraa and their four year old son, Daniel.
They are from Afghanistan. Aref worked as a mechanical engineer for NATO for 7 years between 2006 and March 22, 2016 — the date he and his family fled their home.
An uncertain journey
They knew before they left about the EU-Turkey deal which had been implemented just 2 days before, a deal which meant that should they arrive to Greece in one piece, their onward journey to other countries in Europe was never certain. They decided to leave anyway. “If you must leave you will leave,” Aref explained with a wry smile. “Deal or no deal, if you must leave you will leave.”
He says Islamic militants threatened him because of his work and they tried to kidnap his son.
When asked what happened he replies, “He was with my wife at the time. You will have to ask her.” Zahraa was out with Daniel at that moment, but, he expected, would be coming back soon.
There were hints of Daniel around the prefab container where Aref and his family live. A-top a gold wrapping paper covered drum-shaped coffee table there sits a golden lion, mouth wide open, ready to roar. The lion is plastic and small, but impressive nonetheless, a toy that clearly belongs to Daniel.
Not too much time passes before Zahraa and Daniel return — Daniel only for a moment before he disappears outside to play with his mates — the friends he has made since he’s been here.
Zahraa recounts the story of his attempted kidnapping
She was just feet away from her mother’s house, literally across the street, when a man tried to abduct Daniel. The man wore black clothing and was wearing a mask. The only thing Zahraa could see was his eyes. He lifted Daniel up in the air and tried to pull him away from her but she pulled harder. Looking into the eyes of the masked man she thought to herself: “You don’t have the power of a woman.” Then, she was attacked by another man, this time from the back and it was at that moment that she started to shout. Her mother ran out and promptly fainted. Her father heard the shouting and ran out too. So did the neighbours. Zahraa refused to let her son go. Somehow though the men were able to take him and tried to get away on a motorbike. Zahraa did not surrender. She found some stones and she started to hurl them at her son’s kidnappers. It worked. She was able to make them lose their balance, the bike fell over, she grabbed Daniel, and then they left.
Zahraa says that just retelling this story makes her start shaking.
A life in limbo
At this point, Daniel, calls out to his father from outside the container, with what sounds like great urgency. Both parents laugh and Aref gets up to investigate. “Daniel is telling me that someone is beating him up,” he says with a grin.
Aref and Zahraa are living right now in an interminable limbo. They have been deemed not vulnerable by the powers that be. And so they wait. Captive on a beautiful island, waiting for others to determine their fate.
How do they handle the not-knowing is the question and Aref, the zen-master responds with this answer: “there is a proverb. Get along with the situation or be like the situation. We are trying to get along with the situation.”
“I don’t try to destroy myself,” he continues. “Maybe the environment teaches us something that we learn here but not in another environment. It has its own difficulties and its own goodness.”
Read Part 1 of this family’s story
Refugee crisis in Europe and Middle East: How the IRC helps
The International Rescue Committee responds to the world’s worst humanitarian crises, helping people to survive, recover and reclaim control of their future. Founded in 1933 at the request of Albert Einstein, the IRC has works in over 40 countries and in 28 resettlement offices across the United States. Learn more about the IRC’s response to the refugee crisis and how you can help.
Find more refugee voices in the IRC’s Uprooted publication on Medium.
