What does being “too nice” mean?
Through my life I’ve come across this question multiple times most of all when people say things like “Ana the problem is you’re too nice”, but, what does being “too nice” even mean?
Until now, what I understand about being too nice is that I like helping people when they need me without even thinking about what they think about me, if they like me or not, if they’re going to return the favor or not; it means that I don’t like starting fights or discussions, I rarely get mad and I always expect the best from other people even though I’ve been let down multiple times. If that’s what being too nice means, well, I am, and I have no problem being this way, the problem is that in our society being “too nice” is a sign of weakness.
In our society when someone shows how nice they can be they’re literally handing out an invitation for bullying, mocking and people taking advantage of your kindness. This doesn’t mean that we’re the problem, the real problem are the values our society is built upon, that conviction that you have to step on people who bow down to help you in order to succeed is totally selfish; when someone lends you a helping hand when you need it doesn’t mean you have the right to use them to your will.
There’s probably three things that a person that’s “too nice” wants to clear up;
1. The fact that I’m helping you when you need a hand doesn’t mean you have the right to pull me under the bus and use me as a step stool.
2. The fact that I rarely get mad and I usually don’t start fights after you’ve treated me in a bad way doesn’t mean I give you the freedom to keep picking on me.
3. The fact that still expect the best from people, even though they’ve let me down multiple times doesn’t mean you can go on being an asshole and I’m going to keep putting up with it.
In my opinion, the ones considered “too nice” are the ones that hold the world in their hands, they are those who allow second chances and achieve greatness in an acceptable and clean way. Getting to the top without stepping on people on the way says a lot about your empathy and humanity, it´s alright if you have to find support on someone else while building your ladder to the top, but it’s totally different from using the other person as the ladder.
The “too nice” people were the ones to save millions of Jewish lives by hiding them in their attics during the Second World War, it´s them who shed a light of hope and comfort to the sick, they are the ones rescuing animals in danger, they start peaceful protests and care for human rights. Imagine a world without the people we call “too nice”, it’s like a superhero movie without the superheroes. I want to also mention the fact that people considered “too nice” are not stupid, we can clearly identify situations when someone wants to take advantage of our kindness.
What I’m trying to say is that being too nice is not a bad thing, it’s not a weakness, it doesn’t make you less than others; if you, reading this right now can identify yourself with any of these descriptions, give me a high five, we’re the same!
But, this is just my humble opinion… you’ll read me later.