Memo for the Dalai Lama, Dan Harris and the rest of us
January, 2023. Recently, I listened to a podcast for a 7-day “challenge” with Dan Harris on the Ten Percent Happier App. The challenge was to fully listen to a message from the Dalai Lama: ‘Seven to eight billion people in the world, and we are one; we have to think of, and treat each other, as a part of ourselves.’
Not easy.
Altruism in thought, word and deed is the Dalai Lama’s message. How can we deeply hear that? I have a message, too.
But first, how can the Dalai Lama be altruistic toward the Chinese who have been hateful and violent towards him and a country he loves? Well, he thinks they are misguided other humans. But, they are just like him, with all the potential he has. He thinks altruism is basic to everyone’s nature. Yes, everyone’s. My message is that altruism is more basic than almost anyone thinks. Yes. Part of our infinitely variable genes (how basic can you get?) and also our common anatomy. Yes. Common anatomy of the brain.
“I want people to know that altruism is more than “in our bone marrow” as Dan Harris has said.”
The Dalai Lama’s message is that altruistic thinking brings discerning peace to the one practicing it, and guides them to think clearly and act effectively. This is certainly true for the Dalai Lama. As an effective person, his name is better known throughout the world than any living Chinese person. He has brought attention to the plight of the Tibetans at the hand of the Chinese. It may be a slow chipping away at the influence of the Chinese in Tibet, but who knows where it will lead? Also, the Dalai Lama has contributed immensely to viable, practical projects that show he has the discernment and courage to change things that he knows he can change now — like neuroscience. Many neuroscientists have helped to bring meditation to the healthcare systems of the West, because the Dalai Lama spoke to and supported them. Because he engaged with neuroscience, he increased the well-being and physical health for a large group of people within that 7–8 billion he thinks about.
I am a neuroscientist, and there is something I want to tell him, and all curious people. I want people to know that altruism is more than “in our bone marrow” as Dan Harris has said. It is part of the basic physiology of our brains, although bone marrow is easier to think about! Once, at a meditation retreat, I jumped up to stand in a long line for the microphone to give my message: ‘Altruism is so basic to all humans there are almost no words for it. The brain systems are at a non-verbal level. Altruistic feelings are our mammalian heritage. It’s in our genes. It’s in our most primitive brain structure and chemistry that we share with other mammals, not just other humans! But we vary, and we can change, because of our brain structure, chemistry and genes.’ Time ran out, and I never made it to the microphone. That message was too long for a microphone, anyway…
So, now I have made my way to a different type of microphone from the back of a long line. Saying altruism is in our marrow is a powerful image and “marrow” is a great word. Most of us have seen marrow and know it is nutritious. Our brains and minds are much harder to visualize and think about. But our brains are the marrow of our minds and contain some of the most beautiful anatomy and physiology imaginable. Here are some images to start you on your way, as you consider the human condition and your happiness.
Some would say, “Nature gave us…” Others, like me, would say, “These brains, full of physiology for altruism, evolved from the beginnings of life. Altruism is something all humans share because evolution happened …” It is a survival strategy for us as individuals and society. Isn’t that beautiful, however you want to say it!
In addition to the Dalai Lama, I have heard meditation teachers like Pema Chodron also tell us that caring for others is basic to everyone’s nature. We are all basically altruistic. (Brain basic!) The Dalai Lama and Pema think this is important for us all to understand. But how can we hear it more deeply? How can we avoid brushing it off? (“Not so much me. Nice thought. Next.”) Maybe if we know it is part of our brain chemistry and evolution as mammals, it can be like knowing that we thrive on healthy food and exercise. Maybe if we can also visualize the beauty, it will help. Maybe it will be easier to express these genetic tendencies we have if we know it’s part of our physiology, like cholesterol.
I realize that not everyone cares about the brain, or mechanisms of human thinking and behavior. No problem.
But to know from basic physiology rather than to hear it as an opinion, that altruistic feelings are there in everyone, that is important; to know we share altruism just like we share the vulnerability to the coronavirus, that is important. To know the common brain physiology is there is an example of “Know Thy Brain, Know Thyself,” as we say on our website (www.theanatomyoflove.com). Or, as Jill Bolte Taylor’s podcast with Dan Harris is titled, “Understand Your Brain, Upgrade Your Life.” Some brain information can be nutritious knowledge for a richly interesting life to be lived fully, expressing altruistic thoughts, words and deeds.
