While on holiday at a beautiful resort, our friends’ daughter shares a room with us. — “Come on, Patrick. Put your shirt back on, you’ll scare everybody away!” I shouted across the blue, glistening pool. “Fuck you,” Patrick mouthed back, showing me his middle finger. “That’s mean!” my wife, Amelia, scolded as she tried to contain her amusement. I lay back in the sun lounger, watching…