Kill your vampire

Lucy Kramber
Sep 2, 2018 · 5 min read

Have you ever felt like other people drew you energy and you couldn’t stop it? Sometimes we just meet such people, but we can’t figure out how we come up so tired and restless at the end of a day.

Specifications.

You might hear about such called energy vampires. They really exist. So let’s try to define some points how we can figure out that this particular person is an energy vampire. I tried to make a list. You can mark these points and check if the person draws up all of your life.

  • The person speaks so slow, sometimes very quiet. You really need to gather all of your energy and attention to stay with what he or she says and ponder to understand the meaning. You really try to get him/her to define some important points.
  • Guess what. After the conversation, you can’t even remember what it was about. It’s hard to remember some complete quotes. You stay with a general feeling of something very heavy, full of words and undefined.
  • If you try to analyze this conversation you won’t be able to come up with some kind of summary, short highlights and main ideas. Here comes my favorite part. In this case, YOU start to feel stupid or inattentive. Of course, you spent so much time to this interaction, how could you come out with nothing? Yeah, sure, something wrong with you, you’re not smart enough or you didn’t listen carefully.
  • People of this type like to discourse a lot about some high materials, something very important from all the Universe perspective. For example, this girl from my team tried to shift her responsibility for one of the tasks to me, just because she didn’t want to investigate this area of HER project. How did she do it? She gave me a long and boring lecture about mutual understanding, the importance of helping and supporting each other, business vision (the best part), etc. You should saw this task, it was really nothing. However, she got me, I’ve lost a big piece of my attention and energy, unfortunately.
  • The last but not the least. After any interactions with this person, you from all of the sudden don’t feel good. You don’t have any energy, you don’t want to do anything. You just want to lay on the couch (that was really my case). I even thought about staying at home the next day.

Just try to observe people around you. Try to catch this feeling and find out who is a reason to put you in this position. Really, you don’t need such people in your life, not even one.

Recipe.

In the second part, let’s focus on setting up some guidelines or instructions on how to minimize a harm from vampires.

  1. This one is my favorite. Imagine putting some kind of cap or hood on this person if you see them a lot around you. In my case, the energy vampire has been sitting right next to me in the office. Even when I didn’t contact her I felt so nervous and anxious just looking at her. So every morning when she has come to her place I just imagined orange cap which was falling from the ceiling on her. Also, here you can firstly decrease the person in size (in your mind, of course) and after that put a vampire under the cap. I consider this part with making person small so fun and entertaining. Perfect morning routine. :)
  2. Stay on with the logic. You have one, they don’t. They just try manipulating you and dragging you in a word of chaos and misunderstanding. So use rational approach and don’t fall into their world of manipulation. Let them rot there alone without your resources and energy.
  3. Unfortunately, energy vampires will contact you eventually. So again, use your ratio and stay calm. Anwer shortly, something like “got it”, “OK”, “something else?”, “and what?”, “so what’s next?”. The main idea is not enabling to discussion with them or at least speeding up the conversation. They always have more and more to say. How does it work? You start answering, trying to understand them, wasting your emotions. This is what they want. Here they start to get your energy. You lose power, it comes to the vampire. This is a battle, really. Someone loses energy, someone gets. Be the second one. Force a vampire to waste their energy. They will. Trust me. When you stay calm and cold they start to find other ways, they talk more, they use different approaches which is exhausting for them. You didn’t give them any piece of your attention. So they will leave you shortly broken and tired.

You can start with this. I’ve practiced this technique last week. It worked for me. Of course, to be honest I felt irritated sometimes. However, it wasn’t every day and 8 hours a day. So I’m going to continue the tactic and decrease her every morning :)

Here comes a part which was added after my husband has read this article. He mentioned I have described these vampire people only as negative ones, or even 100% bad people. I was so surprised and answered without any doubts: “Yeah, sure. That’s my point of view, they are evil, they steal your energy. What can be good at that?”. After this answer, I felt like I needed some extra thinking.

Why people become energy vampires? Here’s what I think. There are two cases with vampires. Some of them can clearly understand their behaviour. So they just enjoy it and use it on purpose. This approach is really terrible. Another situation is when people use this strategy unconsciously. So how it works? Some along time ago when they were children or teenagers they just couldn’t find another way or source of getting attention. Children use different approaches just to get what they want. They don’t have another way to do it, they explore the world in all possible ways which are limited. Trying something new and observing how it ends. After getting positive results multiple times their mind just chooses this type of behaviour for a future. These ones need some professional help to see it and deal with it.

However, there is even more. Some vampires can have a positive impact. It wasn’t clear to me when I started to write this post. There are unique vampires who can draw out only negative energy and convert it in a good way. Understanding it was difficult for me. However, I found an example in my life. I have a friend who has some kind of superpower. Shortly she can build very trustful and confidential relationships with people. She’s very bright and warm person. Somehow you just start sharing with her your troubles and worries. In a moment you don’t feel so overwhelmed anymore, I feel relieved. The most interesting part of it she doesn’t feel depressed or broken. She really converts this into something good for both of you.

I couldn’t imagine vampires do any good. I haven’t had the heart to call she was a vampire. So again, you’ll never know. Thanks to my husband I found something positive side in vampires existence.

There is an idea in which I truly believe. Other people aren’t responsible for our emotions and feelings. Yes, they can influence on us, sure. However, the last call is always ours. We make a decision whether we want to feel stress, irritation, anger, rage or even happiness and joy. Sometimes it’s just simpler to blame other people’s actions or words to justify our mood or even life in general. Be the one responsible for your health, mood and emotions. Don’t pass a power to people around.

Have a nice day without bad vampires :)

Lucy Kramber
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