CHELSEA FANS' CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR LISTS

Hi Guys!

Before I go on, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Welcome to a new decade!

Now that a full year and decade has begun, I’ve joined forces with a few friends who are Chelsea fans as well, to discuss what we, as fans, would like this holiday season.

First of all, introduction; So, as y’all know, I’m Lucy, aspiring baby girl who loves football to its entirety. I make awesome music and I love eating good food.

Now, without further ado, say Hi to my friends. Friends?

Paul: My name is Paul. Been following football for a bit now so my opinions are sometimes valid.

Sheye: Hi guys, I’m Sheye aka Sliding Machete. I’m a visa consultant during the day and a tech enthusiast at night. Chelsea Lover and I love good football.

Buchi: I’m Buchi; Chelsea fan since the days of Mutu and passionate bread lover.

Lucy: Since the days of who now?

Buchi: Oh my dear, you’re but a young one in the Chelsea hood.

Lucy: Guys sell yourselves oh, not in the illegal way, but like sell your talents. For instance, Paul makes awesome shawarmas, takes cool photos and builds sites. Sheye also builds sites and eats awesome shawarmas and Buchi does 2D animations.

So, moving on. Let’s say there’s a Football Santa who would make your football wishes come true during this holiday season, what would you wish for?

Sheye: Alright. Here’s my Christmas/New Year wish for CFC; Get two Dembeles; the one at Barca and the other at Lyon. Koulibaly, any Left Back in the world with sense and Ake or Djene Dakonam. Finally, Sancho and Werner.

Buchi: This is a World Cup wish list 😂

Paul: Lmao. This cracked me up. Why so open ended Sheye? Plus, the guy from Barca is too injury prone no?

Lucy: I think it’ll be a no from me for Dembele too. Too injury prone.

Sheye: Well he might look that way but I think he’s just at the wrong place. Not sure he had such injury spells at Dortmund. And you know how good he is when he’s fit.

Paul: Yeah. Now concerning the Left Back wish, a lot of people have pushed the Chillwell agenda and it makes sense bit I think Grimaldo would be better.

Sheye: Not a fan of Chillwell too.

Paul: I’m all in for Sancho but Werner, Abraham and Dembele would be overkill, no?

Buchi: When you add Odoi and Willian, a bit.

Sheye: Well, at the moment there’s no back up striker at CFC. Not one.

Lucy: That’s true and if Werner and Tammy are our two striking options then Dembele from Barca will play from the wing. Balanced Equation. And I’m also in for Sancho but only if he costs like 60 mil or less, not that 120 mil I’m hearing.

Buchi: RT

Paul: Lmao. Keep riding that horse.

Sheye: lol. Dortmund will definitely cash out big. Would be nothing less than 100 mil.

Lucy: I’m not too interested then. That’s plenty money. When he’s not Mbappe. Wait, I think I want Mbappe, wishful thinking?

Buchi: Of Extreme Variety

Sheye: Lmao. Mba what??

Paul: Mbappe would cost close to 200 in today’s market

Lucy: *And deservedly so* 🤭

Paul: Lmao.

Sheye: Good thing you know. Anyone considered Milan’s Piatek on loan? Zlatan has retured to Milan and Rafael Leao has been starting games ahead of Piatek.

Paul: Hmm, this is Interesting.

Buchi: After the Atalanta collapse he might be willing to jump ship.

Paul: So my list; Grimaldo or Atall. Koulibaly or JT (LOOL). Cover for Kante (Haven’t figured this out yet). Werner or Dembele. Then we should bin Barkley, Drinkwater, Christensen, Giroud, Batshuayi, Pedro and Willian.

Buchi: Kante is cover for Kante

Lucy: THIS!

Paul: Lmao

Sheye: Grimaldo yes. If we can pull off Koulibaly. Thought we could get Gana as a cover for Kante but he’s at PSG now so… I’ll take Werner and Dembele, I want both.

Lucy: I’d actually sign a petition to bin the aforementioned players minus Christensen sha and Baptised Willan can stay please.

Sheye: Pedro will probably leave in January and Willian will probably stay till Summer or even after Summer. But Christensen can go back to Germany. We should include him in the Sancho deal.

Lucy: Oh this I don’t mind.

Buchi: Concerning Christensen, I thought he was/is really good and just needs game time. Or the error against Barca hasn’t been forgiven?

Paul: His mentality is off.

Lucy: So for my list, I think I want to see more of Pulisic this next half. I want proper goal keeping lessons for Kepa plus the other acquisitions we hope to make.

Paul: Kepa will come good. So will Odoi.

Sheye: Yeah, they’re already labelling Odoi a fraud. I pray he gets that sweet form back. Dunno what Cech is doing but that’s discussion for another day. Kepa just needs to improve here and there and he’ll be good.

Lucy: Cech is playing Ice hockey apparently.

Paul: So; Werner/Abraham

Pulisic/RLC/Odoi/Sancho

Kante/ Jorghino/ Kovacic

Grimaldo/Rudiger/Koulibaly/Reece

Kepa

Sheye: Unrealistic but… Werner/Abraham/ Dembele

Pulisic/Odoi/Sancho/ Dembele

Kante/ Jorghino/ Kovacic/ RLC

Grimaldo/Rudiger/Koulibaly/Reece

Kepa

Buchi: Isn’t RLC AM/CM? I don’t see him finding good fortune out wide.

Paul: The 10.

Lucy: Oh RLC, I forgot about that fine boy. Guys, I love these lineups but looking for Kepa replacement, is that too crazy?

Paul: Yes.

Buchi: Replacement, yes. He just needs someone that offers a threat to his position and call back Eva Caneiro. She should help him how she helped Courtios.

Sheye: Hopefully Cummings gets to be Number two.

Lucy: Who now???

Paul: Cummings. You need soap dear.

Lucy: YOU need soap. Okay guys, what of Lampard’s tactics? Do we need some mastermind at the management level?

Paul: Nah, let’s give him another season.

Buchi: When you say mastermind, do you mean swapping the gaffer or bringing in an Arteta as his sidekick?

Lucy: No swap oh, but yeah, have like an Arteta in the mix.

Buchi: On a serious note though; the formation we used against the Saints was so trash (I don’t know how it worked against Spurs.) We shouldn’t go back to playing 3 at the back unless it’s perfected.

Lucy: Ok, so we’ve got our list for the Men’s team, what of the women’s team? We already got an early Christmas present in Sam Kerr (WooHoo) who by the way is already in London and training with the team.

Buchi: Jamie Lee too, signing for the future though.

Lucy: Yep yep. Great signings but I’m afraid we’re neglecting the midfield (defensively) and defence.

Paul: We need competition for Ji.

Lucy: Leave my Ji alone.

Buchi: Lmao sorry ma.

Paul: And a Kante-esque midfielder.

Lucy: Izzy Christensen made a move back to the FAWSL. Is it too much to hope for Lucy Bronze coming to Chelsea?

Buchi: The English defender yeah? She’s good

Sheye: Lucy Bronze to where?

Lucy: Lmao, Kingsmeadow sir. But realistically, I think a proper DM is what I want for Christmas for the Women’s team. Like an Amandine Henry of Lyon.

Paul: I’ll go check this person out. Hey, are y’all on Twitter?

Lucy: Yeah, are you doing Giveaway?!

Buchi: Holiday season and all.

Paul: Yes, a free follow all round. Please drop handles.

Buchi: Can you give me mine in money? @Buchmeister. NB: I don’t endorse or have any affiliations with tweets from this account.

Lucy: Lmao, lie lie. @TheAfrolucy but y’all know that. 😁

Sheye: @Sheyejinkazama

Buchi: Paul you’re the Sanin wannabe. (@3rdsenin)

Paul: Lmao, wannabe? Alright, already following.

Lucy: So no giveaway then?

Paul: Nope. Love and Light dear.

Lucy: Alright guys, any last additions to the list?

Paul: Yes! Lewandoski as 3rd choice striker.

Buchi: I was thinking the exact same thing.

Lucy: Ew.

Buchi: Sign Phil Neville as Women’s head coach.

Lucy: NO GOD NO

Paul: What?! Buchi Come outside let us fight.

Lucy: Honestly, let him drop address. Actually no, I know his address lool.

Buchi: It’s past my curfew, will tomorrow be Ok for you?

Paul: I don’t fight minors please.

Buchi: Fear Fear. But do you guys want Gary instead???? It’s one or the other.

Lucy: But Buchi, what happened to Emma Hayes? You know we are unbeaten in the league so far and have defeated City and Arsenal?

Paul: Lmao but Buchi it’s like you really want to take an ass whooping because what is all this?

Buchi: Lmao, nothing. I just thought it’s be fun.

Paul: You definitely Like Horror movies.

Lucy: Alright guys! I guess we’re done here. Thank you for doing this with me.

So there you have it; a Chelsea fan’s list will look a lot like what we’ve just listed with acquisitions in the needful areas like our defence and up top for the men’s team, and basically midfield for the women’s team.

Now to you, yes you who’s reading, what or who would you want for Christmas from the Football Santa?

Regardless of the team you support let us know! But bonus points if you’re a Chelsea fan!