1. CRUISE SHIP DISASTER: CANNIBAL RAT CRUISE

An abandoned cruise ship is filled with rats and headed to a port in the U.K… by the way, the rats are cannibals. And did we mention they’re inbred? Also, according to the New York Daily News, “demented” (as opposed to those talented little rascals in Ratatouille). Wonder if Andy Serkis is available to give life to a super-CGI Rat King?

2. CRUISE SHIP DISASTER 2: THE POOP CRUISE

After a fire on board, 4,000 unlucky folks were stranded on a cruise ship for four days as it drifted aimlessly around “without air conditioning, and largely without lights, water, food and working toilets,” according to CNN.

3. CRUISE SHIP DISASTER 3: REVENGE OF THE NOROVIRUS

“There were people walking around in their pajamas with vomit and diarrhea on them,” is how one passenger described their time on the Explorer of the Seas, which had to make a hasty return to New Jersey after an outbreak of Norovirus that affected over 600 passengers and crew. (The comment of one mysterious Margery Feinstein, who asserted that “We had a wonderful cruise, and they were very nice,” could quite possibly lead to a Cruise Ship Disaster 4 movie entitled Who the F*ck is Margery Feinstein and Why Isn’t She Bothered By 600+ People With Norovirus?)

4. SECRET CRAWL SPACE

Two boys hanging out at home discover that their bookshelf is actually a door leading to a secret crawl space, where someone has been squatting, hoarding stolen items, and … playing with creepy dolls? ‘Nuff said!

5. ISLAND OF THE LOST DOLLS

Speaking of creepy dolls, an island south of Mexico City is just brimming with them! Hundreds of seen-better-days dollies are strung up from seemingly every available tree branch by a dude who had a lot of time on his hands, being that he lived on the island by himself.

6. “THE NEW BEETHOVEN”

Japanese composer Mamoru Samuragochi’s achievements were all the more remarkable considering that he was deaf. As of last week, it turns out he was neither a composer (someone else was dreaming up his much-loved melodies) nor deaf (it is now believed he’s been faking his hearing loss). What’s left…? Ah, yes. It appears that he is, in fact, Japanese.*

*This may not seem like a natural for a scary movie, but the Japanese can turn anything into a horror flick!

7. RATS SWARM KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN/TACO BELL!

They’re on YouTube in all of their scurrying, distinctly-non-Ratatouille-like glory: lots and lots and lots of rats running around a KFC/Taco Bell in Manhattan. (Now just imagine them on a cruise ship — Urban Rats versus Cannibal Rats — and you’ve got a crossover!)

8. WOMAN FINDS FINGER IN HER WENDY’S CHILI

Actually, a woman placed a finger in her Wendy’s chili, and then tried to shake down the food chain. Now, which is more disturbing: a woman finding a severed finger in her chili at Wendy’s, a woman placing a severed finger in her chili at Wendy’s, or a woman actually ordering chili at Wendy’s?

9. MAN STUCK IN ELEVATOR FOR 41 HOURS

You know when you’re in an elevator and it stalls a little bit, and you think, “What if I get stuck in this elevator?” Now add “for 41 hours?” to that hypothetical scenario, and you’ve got a full-on nightmare — a nightmare that actually happened in 2008 to a guy who got stuck on a Friday and didn’t get out till Sunday.

10. ELISA LAM

Even scarier than the 41-hour elevator ordeal in NYC is the story of real-life Elisa Lam in L.A. In 2013, after residents at the Cecil Hotel complained that their water smelled and tasted funny, Lam’s body was found in the Cecil’s water tank. Just before she died, security cameras caught her acting very strangely in the hotel’s elevator — hiding, pressing buttons, and gesturing. The YouTube video of her last recorded moments is like a mini-horror movie unto itself.