Whether it’s Scarlett O’Connor’s tumbling blonde mermaid waves, Zoe’s perfectly springy corkscrew curls, or Juliette’s myriad Barbie-like looks, the hair on Nashville is bound to fascinate. Sure, there are misfires — like Tandy’s ill-conceived short crop or Gunnar’s sky-high updo — but you can feel confident that every single character will seem to have spent hours and hours in front of a mirror with a blowdryer, an iron, and fistfuls of styling product before facing the world.
2. THE WAY PEOPLE JUST SHOW UP
Granted, I grew up in NYC, where you have to at least ring someone’s buzzer before you barge in on them, but is this really how people do it outside of the big city? The folks of Nashville just love to show up unannounced with a lame apology like “Sorry I didn’t call, but —” My personal favorite was when Deacon burst into Megan’s office (um, isn’t she a lawyer? Mightn’t she have been with a client — you know, confidential stuff?) only to bust her holding hands with Teddy Conrad.
3. TEDDY CONRAD’S FIRST TERM AS MAYOR
Sure, he’s the mayor — but his only mayoral feat so far seems to have been producing the “Music City Music Fest” — a dubious achievement, considering that the best show was outside the festival limits when Deacon and Avery went renegade. Other than shaking hands at the Music Fest, he spends his time arguing with his daughter, chewing out Deacon, watching Lamar die, and flirting with Megan. He’s such a lame mayor, even Rayna won’t take his calls. (“I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” he huffs when he finally catches up to her on the very day Lamar ceased to exist in his incredibly quiet office.)
It is so easy to fuck with this guy’s mood. Want a sad Teddy? Just mention Deacon Claybourne. Want a happy Teddy? Tell him you loved the Music City Music Festival.
Some of the songs on Nashville aren’t bad. And some are pretty darn good — in fact, you may wake up with “Wrong Song” or “What If I Was Willing” in your head (much to your eternal embarrassment). Others are astonishingly horrible, like Deacon’s big fabulous comeback song, which actually “boasts” the following lyrics: “When I was young/I was told/Try to be/Just as good as gold.” Really?!
The citizens of Nashville are really amazing at their ability to jump from one relationship to another. Scarlett and Avery’s long-term relationship went bust, and she moved on to Gunnar. After Gunnar’s heart was broken by Scarlett, he quickly fell in love with Zoe. Shortly after Teddy signed divorce papers with Rayna, he married Peggy. And approximately thirty seconds after Peggy was shot and killed, Teddy was casting a speculative look at Megan. Rayna’s relationship with Deacon deteriorated after his drunkenness almost caused a fatal car crash, but she moved on to Liam and is now dating Luke, and Deacon is dating his lawyer, Megan (who just hooked up with Teddy). After Avery and Scarlett broke up, he and Juliette proclaimed their love for one another. The only static relationship on the show seems to be the state of yearning and anger between Will and Brent.
When someone on Nashville is evil, there’s no gray area. The bad guys really go for the gusto. Edgehill’s new boss, Jeff Fordham, is — quite simply — never not up to bad shit. Lamar seemed to be murmuring the word “eviiiiiiiil” merely by breathing, so sinister was his perpetual sneer. The only time the guy seemed happy was when he was around his granddaughters. Then, the old man’s face really lit up. Those young ladies are sure gonna miss their grandpaw, that’s for damn sure.
When something or someone on the show undergoes a rapid, radical change, the only reason behind is that… well, it’s just the way it is. Scarlett didn’t seem like a pill-popper, but she sure has been hitting that bottle of uppers that Liam gave her (speaking of which, was it a magical bottomless bottle? Or did it come with fill-in-the-blank refill prescriptions?). One minute Deacon is hungover and filled with rage; the next, he’s the sober, loyal boyfriend to Megan and devoted uncle to Scarlett. Maddie loves her daddy best, until she loves her biological daddy better. Peggy was scheming, manipulative, and potentially crazy, until she wasn’t.
Remember when Scarlett and Avery lived in a cute little house? Then Avery moved out and Gunnar moved in. Then Will moved in upstairs. Wait, there was an upstairs? Then Will moved downstairs. Who’s living upstairs now? Is there still even an upstairs? Also, Avery was an aspiring musician until his name was mud in Nashville for… because…. well, we can’t remember. Then he went on tour with Juliette while somehow holding down a job as barback at the Bluebird. Now, like magic, he’s a record producer! Zoe and Scarlett were super-best friends from way back, except that we had never heard of or seen Zoe before Season 2. When the writers need something to change on Nashville, there’s no elaborate wrangling. They just change it, like powerful gods.
10. THE WAY JULIETTE GETS SHIT ON
None of the characters on Nashville suffer the way Hayden Panetierre’s Juliette Barnes does. In the first season, she got caught shoplifting, was plagued by the mother from hell, got blackmailed by Jay Hernandez, of all people, became an alcoholic, spent tons of money on Juliette Barnes bobble heads, and had numerous tantrums and “you’re fired!” moments. This season, she got videotaped blurting out “There is no God,” which went viral and earned her the wrath of Jeff Fordham, the Grand Ol’ Opry, and lots of extras yelling and holding up signs. Really, what she was saying was “There is no God that would listen to a crackpot like you,” an incredibly awkward sentence — and seemingly the only purpose of such a sentence would be to be quoted out of context. Wouldn’t she really have phrased it differently, like, “God wouldn’t listen to a crackpot like you?” But in Nashville, that’s just the way things are!
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