I dropped Meditation; after 8 years. A 20min nap (at noon) got me better results. I archived the cushion.
In my case meditation made me too sensitive to the stress around me instead of helping me battle it. Napping recharged me for the fight. (moving to an ashram — not an option)
Some follow recipes and get results. Those of us who try the recipes and don’t; wing concoctions until we find our own blend. What works for us may not be as glamorous or pragmatic as what’s written by others. But if it works, keep doing it.
At points in my life routine worked. Then it felt robotic and unnatural. And like you say, some guilt remains.
Reading how others get things done, trying to mimic them, blinds us to the better option; the one we can come up on our own. Unique to our circumstances. The remix.
This was a good read Jon Westenberg. Thanks for writing it.