Lu,

21 is a big year. Many opportunities and pathways will open up to you, and what’s crucial is not what you don’t choose, but what you do. Here are a couple of tips for your 21st year:

1) Choose to “live folk.”

This could be as simple as investing in an all-white tablecloth with matching white or off-white dinnerware and throwing a huge “Kinfolk Paradise” party for all of your friends with all expenses paid by you… all the way to something a little more complex and ambitious like starting the company Facebook or Apple.

2) Drink “the good fizz.”

You’re 21 now, and trust me — people are going to notice. You will get so-called “friends” offering you beer, only they’ll call it things like “wine” or “brewskis” or “just come hang out with us you don’t have to drink.” In these situations, my recommendation to you is to instead head to Safeway and “drink the good fizz” — that is, Sprite. Sprite has a tangy, lemon-lime flavor that’s practically irresistible, and its little micro-bubbles will surprise you all the way down. So, next time you’re tempted, just look your “friends” straight in the eyes and say, “You all can go to hell.”

3) “The ladies.”

Now that you are 21, you are finally at an eligible age to marry and be married. This is a phenomenon I like to call “the ladies.” I would encourage you instead to adopt a “just bros” lifestyle. I’ll dive straight into the Bible for justification here: think back to when Jesus is talking to his disciples right after the Sermon of Olives, and they ask him “Lord, if you are Lord of the Sabbath, could you please make more wine for the party,” and he responds, “I’ll do anything for my bros,” and then pounds his fist to his chest twice, immediately makes a peace sign, kisses it, and looks up towards the heavens. If it’s good enough for The Lord, it’s good enough for you and me.

I hope this helps. You only get one shot at your 21st year, and I really hope you don’t mess it up because a lot of people do.

• Grahm