Killing the Ego: Stop Being Your Worst Enemy
Have you ever thought of killing your ego?
The ego is our sense of self, and it is from it that we understand our thoughts and emotions. It is through it that we connect with the world, but above all, it is a belief in our own importance.
It works as a defense mechanism that we create to protect ourselves from the real face of the world and the uncertainties that we face every day. Because of this, we take selfish actions because we don’t see reality as it is.
An inflated ego can be harmful to ourselves and those around us, as it increases our arrogance and reduces our empathy for others. On the other hand, a small ego can make us our own worst enemy, as we lose confidence and become reliant on others, becoming a burden to those in our closest circle.
We must not confuse the ego and the self.
The self is your essence as an individual; it doesn’t matter how others see you or what is your position in society. It is in the “self“ that you can find your authenticity.
Let me explain with a metaphor:
Imagine the ego as a mirror that reflects your image, that image is made with your thoughts and the reactions of people you have collected throughout your life. The more you look into the mirror, the more you mold yourself to that image. But this “you” in the mirror is simply not you; you are the one looking at the mirror, but you have forgotten this.
So with that in mind, we can begin to get a clearer picture of ourselves. But how can we win this battle against the ego?
We must kill it.
How to kill your ego
“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” Marcus Aurelius.
1. Be humble.
One of the first things that can kill the ego is humbleness.
Do you know why you can’t finish a goal that you set for yourself? At the first obstacle, you stop because you don’t like to feel stupid. You feel yourself in a bad situation and stop.
This is your ego at work. Look at your past and try to tell me the opposite.
Be humble and recognize that you don’t know everything; that’s the first step to personal development.
2. Just do it.
Have the mindset to just do a good job, and let your effort speak for itself.
Imagine that you have been working out for two weeks but don’t see any results. What do you do? You lose motivation and stop.
You know that language you started to study but soon stopped? That’s your ego at work.
Don’t be attached to the result, the ego wants you to be rewarded.
3. Always be a student.
Replace your current mentality with a learner’s mindset.
Instead of thinking that you already know everything, always be open to learning new things. Reevaluate your certainties and your thoughts: do your problems exist or do they only exist in your head?
4. Leave the audience behind.
There is an effect called “imaginary audience” where we think we are the center of people’s attention. This can make us introspective because we believe that we are being watched and evaluated by everyone around us.
You have to remember that you are just one more person in the room and that everyone else is busy thinking about themselves.
Let go of the need to be perfect.
5. Get out of your head.
The ego speaks to us in a way that confirms what we want to hear, and it is easy for us to be fooled by it. Step away from your inner narrator and focus on your personal development and achievements.
Don’t rely on external validation. We can’t control the rewards of our actions, and that’s exactly the reason why we shouldn’t worry about it.
Benefits of killing the ego
What I am proposing is not something that can be achieved overnight. It is a daily journey of self-improvement, but the benefits are worth the effort.
I believe that the greatest benefit of this path is seeing the world with a lighter perspective and understanding that the more we learn, the more we realize how much more there is to discover.
This text is not meant to make you Mr. or Mrs. Perfection, but to make you less hard on yourself and to change the negative thoughts that the ego produces.
Conclusion
I have to be honest, I have fooled you throughout this text. You don’t have to kill it, but you must have a healthy ego in the right measure. You must know your value and your potential.
I know I didn’t give you an easy task, but you now have what it takes to fulfill the goal of having a meaningful life.
