Love Doesn’t Hurt, Attachments Do
Love hurts is one of the assumptions no one likes but we all take for granted.
But why does love hurt? Why is the one thing that, poetically speaking, has the power to transcend time and space, causing so much pain?
Because it’s not love we’re speaking about, it’s attachment.
Some people will probably hate what I write here and let me tell you I was not a fan of this either. It took me a while to come to terms with it. What we habitually describe as love is not love at all because if it hurts it stops being love and turns into something else.
Part of the problem is that we’re brought up with the belief that love hurts and that sooner or later everyone you love will hurt you. But it isn’t love that hurts, it’s our attachment to the object of our love.
Let’s look at this closely.
Surely, at some point in time, you’ve been in love with someone. And if that person really fit your shopping list, you might’ve even fallen madly in love with that someone.
Now, how did that feel? Was it a calm and peaceful state of gratitude? Probably not.
Most definitely, it was a strong cocktail of desire and anxiety. Desire to own this person, to make it yours, and the accompanying anxiety about losing this person.
