How do I remain positive when things aren’t going according to plan? (The power of reframing)

I swapped my seat on the train yesterday (I liked the other seat better).

The guy who bought the seat I took, didn’t mind, and took the seat nearby, next to a nice-looking girl (probably in her mid to late 20s), and a total stranger.

They started talking.. and didn’t stop until the train reached the destination 2,5 hours later.

An our into their exchange, they were on first name terms.

Halfway through, they laughed together and revealed more and more about each other.

Before we even reached the destination they already exchanged their phone numbers and befriended each other on Facebook.

There was no WiFi on this premium (!) train, so I couldn’t play my music. Whether I liked it or not, I overheard most of their conversation.

It seemed to me that they stood a real chance of being at least good friends after this first encounter. Heck, I thought “I wouldn’t be surprised if those two ended up in bed with each other several hours and one romantic dinner later.” And while I’m not expert on women, I could definitely tell that this guy had taken an instant liking to her. And the smile on her face upon leaving the train was suspicious, to say the least.

That’s precisely why, when things don’t go they way I planned, I always think:

“What if because of this fuckup (change of seats on a train, missed flight, delayed train, no WiFi, or any other disaster)

I’ll meet an interesting person I would never have a chance to meet otherwise

I’ll have a chance to experience something awesome, which wouldn’t happen otherwise

I’ll have a chance to gain a new perspective on things, which wouldn’t happen otherwise

I’ll have a chance to learn a valuable lesson, which wouldn’t happen otherwise,

and it will change the trajectory of my life, or translate into something awesome in the future.”

And if none of it happened (which, by the way, probably is never the case), I still tell myself that there was this chance that this could have happened, and my life could have been changed.

And one never hits the ball 100% of the times anyway.

But to be even able to hit that ball, it has to keep coming towards you.

This approach gives me extreme peace of mind, and advantage over those who bitch about those instances.

And so it is in life. There are people who keep bitching about those situations, and there are people who keep swapping seats. I’ll do the latter.

Never bitch. Reframe!


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