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“Of COURSE we have to wear lab coats, do you have ANY IDEA how toxic chalk is? You do? What, really? Oh, well, they still look smart.”

The team celebrate proving the Non-Caucasian Exclusion Principle preventing more than one of each type of non-Caucasian appearing in a group shot.

“How’s the budget spectroscopy going Steve?”
“BLUE!”

“Get a medical biology degree” they said. “You probably won’t spend your life working with open vials of piss.” they said.

“No safety glasses for me, huh? I only get to keep 77% of my eyesight, is that it?”

“Who keeps leaving this child’s model of DNA in our genetics lab?”

“I’ve explained this before. I’ve got the best sciencebeard so I get the only chair.”

“I’m just glad that all science can be done with Calc 101.”

“Look, it’s not hard, because science is clearly colour-coded.”

“Of course I leave my hair like this while leaning over open vials of chemicals. Bonus: my split-ends now spit acid!”

“Do you think there are scientists in the world who AREN’T chemists?”
“Stop being silly and help me mix these primary colors.”

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