The Background of The Idea
Back in October of 2021, I decided to take an unspecific time off of Instagram. I felt that a lot of my spare time was being consumed by social media, so I went AWOL. I returned around Christmas intending to use my time on Instagram more purposefully and to provide some fun for both me and my followers. That fun became posting stories that utilized the poll function.
It started without a plan in mind. Most of the questions were innocent fun like “do you pee in the shower”, “do you pick your nose?”, or “do you let your pet lick your face?”. Okay, so maybe they were more fun than they were innocent. However, I slowly started to see that my following was pretty engaged with these daily questions getting upwards of 100 people voting on each one. So much so that it got to the point that if I missed a day people would ask me where the question was.
Since February 1st of 2022, I’ve posted an (almost) daily Instagram story with a question and a poll. Starting off fun and innocent, I had dreams of turning the daily question into more of a case study. I’ve always been someone that has been highly engaged in having political, sociological, and cultural conversations: I’ve hosted a 75-episode podcast on masculinity, I’ve written on similar topics on Medium before, my undergrad was in communication studies, and I love reading books about similar topics. So while I was asking more fun questions at the beginning, I was secretly accruing a list of questions on my phone that were about more serious topic matters.
Why I Started Asking These Questions
I think the world is in a sad place. At least in North America. We’re incredibly politically divided, it seems like we’re taking steps backward in regards to human rights (see Roe vs Wade), and it seems hard to trust anyone in the political, journalistic, or media occupations. But why is that?
For me, I believe a lot of it comes down to people being afraid to share some of their opinions publicly and not being honest about their true intentions. A primary example of this works through a social lens is the American election in 2020. For four-plus years, we had constant dialogue from media, politicians, colleagues, celebrities, and social media about how much of a bad person Donald Trump was. It seemed like no companies or public figures wanted to align with him publicly. Yet somehow, 74 million people still voted for him.
How is this number so high if publicly and socially, it seemed so low? Can we really all be surrounded by so many closeted “bigots” as the left calls them or “fascists” as the right call them? I really doubt it. There must be more under the surface that no one is talking about, or that they are afraid to talk about. And being afraid to talk is the issue.
So my questions shifted from being fun and innocent to intentional and purposeful. Questions that stemmed from ideas like: Are people really just too scared to share their real opinions? Is there more that matters than just the name on the ballot? Where do people stand on the morality of murder? Do you think Donald Trump, despite how you feel about him, is a smart person?
The goal of my questions is not to attack anyone for their opinions, see what friends I should unfollow, or think I’m smarter than anyone else. The goal of my questions is really to get people to point out within themselves either the lack of continuation in their thought processes, the fact that they may think “morally” about one topic but not another, and to question their own reasoning and thinking on a wide variety of subjects.
This is because if there’s one thing I cannot stand in the current climate of discourse it’s that everyone seems to approach arguments from a lens of moral superiority. “I believe this and that is why it makes me better than you!” My goal is to call out the hypocrisy within this behaviour. People love to justify their own actions and behaviour but rarely try to TRULY empathize with people who think differently. Because empathy is HARD! And I don’t believe it’s supposed to be easy.
That’s why I ask these questions that are purposeful and intentional. I want people to question their current beliefs, start a conversation, and realize that oftentimes that behind closed doors we have different opinions than we do to the masses.
Why I Ask The Questions The Way I Do
When I ask these questions, I don’t have any agenda in mind. At least I don’t believe I do. I truly just am curious. This is why I think the wording and sequencing of questions are incredibly important. I’m not trying to lead people one way or another or make them think that they’re a bad person if they vote a specific way.
I’m still learning the art of asking questions but I believe my time as a podcast host has helped. I try to piece all of my questions together like a puzzle. Asking more “yes/no” questions at the beginning that hopefully require less emotional input before moving to questions that might require more thought and emotional input.
The reason for this is that I want to warm people up on a topic to get them thinking about it before asking questions that might come off as more personal. Earning the trust of the person being questioned is an important part of getting the appropriate answer.
My Core Beliefs
Now… I know my opinions and takes are not going to be for everyone, and I want to get that out of the way. However, I believe that outlining my core, foundational beliefs when it comes to discussing these topics can help you understand where I’m coming from. Those beliefs are:
- I care more about how people think than what people think
- I am willing to change my opinions on almost any topic
- I believe people repeat common talking points rather than coming up with their own opinions
- I believe people overvalue their own morals and that moral superiority in difficult conversations is one of the biggest problems facing us today
- I believe that there is a level of moral responsibility and accountability each of us needs to have when it comes to a lot of topics I’m going to discuss, whether you like it or not
- I think empathy is SUPPOSED to be hard
- I believe sharing how we think behind closed doors is how we can make a better future because only then can we really change
You, of course, are allowed to disagree with these core beliefs. However, refer to belief number two, as these are my core beliefs right now and are subject to change.
Follow Me
Once I started to ask these questions, I found more people engaging with me in my messages asking me what I was going to do with this information now that I had it. And to be honest, I didn’t really have that plan in mind either. Since then, I’ve been told I should use my writing skills to begin a blog about it and people seemed to like the idea. So I’m doing what I’ve always told others to do… just starting.
This will be my journey. I’ll be reflecting on some of the questions that I’ve asked, talking more about my own opinions on the question and why I asked it the way I did, and trying to create even more dialogue about the topics I touch on in my polls.
To be clear, this isn’t going to be an attempt at an academic approach to these conversations. The data I have from my Instagram is a small collection of people — oftentimes around 100 people who are between the ages of 23–30 years old. It is not an accurate data set for any amount of scientific work or studies. It is genuinely just for fun and self-interest. I will do some research but most of it will just be my personal thoughts on each and an outline of the way I think.
If you’d like to be a part of the journey, follow me on Instagram at @lukeblessed. I post my daily question around 8 PM EST every night and share the previous day’s results (anonymously) at the same time. You have my promise that no answer you put will be publicly shared without express written consent.
I believe that behind closed doors is who we really are. Our darkest thoughts, our best and worst opinions, and our deepest fears all lay there. Let’s bring them out into the open and see if we can make a change.
