Conscious

Luke Paspalas
Nov 6 · 2 min read

330 days today. Nothing to lean on and a lot to hide from. I wake up wondering how I’m going to fit into a world or if I even want to.

On my worst days, I view being sober as a choice like I’m not dependent on it. I’m dependent on it to keep my heart beating, but sometimes I don’t even know if I really want that.

My brain scares me. It scares me because I see the world for what it really is. In that sense, I’m a misfit. I talk to people all day who live to consume, gossip, judge, and impress, but never once question why they indulge in things that leave them so empty.

So why does anything matter? If I walk down Michigan Ave at 7am in my underwear while chowing down on a piece of cake, who’s to say that I can’t do that?

I was speaking to someone the other day about “The Joker” and how it was a perfect depiction of society. I told her how relatable it was to people who are “different” or “mentally ill”. Her response was, “I know, that’s why I’m afraid to see it.”

It’s scary when we see the world for what it really is. There were countless times where the Joker’s peers had opportunities to help him, but looked the other way. Or even worse, made fun of him. We want the world to be a better place but we won’t look at it with rigorous honestly.

Perceived boundaries, all man-made I might add, make us fear being different. There’s no credibility to them. Whatever won’t cause disruption is what we’re going for as a society because we won’t want to upset everyone else. But even the idea of disruptive acts have been created by people, average-minded ones at best. We’re taught that we need to color inside the lines because we won’t be fit in as a member of society if we don’t. And we wonder why everyone’s addicted, dependent, confused, drained, and depressed.

So next time you buy that lipstick that makes you look “prettier”, or watch the 9pm news because it makes you “smarter” or “well-informed”, or have that beer at the bar that you can’t stand with the people who you don’t relate to, ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Do you do it because YOU want to? Or do you do it to impress others? Can you honestly answer why you do the things you do or are you just fearful of what’s outside the lines?

Stay conscious.

Luke Paspalas

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Creating a community of misfits. A voice for people who see the world differently, for what it really is.

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