What to do when you’re having a bad day

Last week and the first half of this one have been pretty rough.

Today, I had one of those days when your boss gives you last minute changes at 6am, you wake up to groggily fix the deck, wander into the kitchen and crash into the dishwasher which your roommates forgot to close, bleed severely, carry a giant box of materials back to work at 8am, print your new PowerPoint and head to the East Bay by 9:30am. But it was my best day for the past two weeks.

The past two weeks have been a string of days where I felt low self-esteem, insecurities and overall a lack of excitement about the future. I felt boring. I felt lazy. I didn’t do any of the things I said on my New Years’ Resolution — no reading, no writing, skipping workouts, eating unhealthily, drinking excessively.

It finally got to a point where, in the span of 30 minutes, I got extremely angry at 3 different people. I actually typed “fuck you” to a great friend on Microsoft Lync (which is like Slack for cavemen). “Fuck you” on my work messenger. Something my employer reads…

I realized that I couldn’t keep dealing with my problems this way.

What I did differently today even as I hobbled bleeding to work, massively sleep-deprived: I took time to have some perspective.

Initially, I was incredibly angry at my boss. I took the time to realize that it wasn’t all his fault — I made some mistakes, he was traveling and only got to look at the deck super late.

Initially, I was frustrated that I slept at 2am and had to wake up at 6:30am. I took the time to realize that, in the long run, this has no effect on my body or health. I’m waking up at 6:30am to work on a presentation to a CEO of a nearly $1BN company. Woe is me…

I managed to talk myself out of my bad mood today. There’s nothing good that can come from petty anger and small insecurities. You waste a whole day of your life feeling shitty — and life is short. I’m hugely cognizant of my time and very aware of how little of it we have. I’m a firm believer that time is the most valuable resource. So I hate feeling like I’m wasting any of my days, especially feeling crappy about myself.

All this is great and sounds pretty and butterflies and rainbows and stuff — but practically it’s hard to change your perspective and to mentally will yourself into happiness. So here are a few tips that I picked up from the past couple of weeks on how to cheer yourself up, when it seems like all odds are stacked against you and giant shits are piling up on you:

In no particular order and ranked in terms of: [Effectiveness from 0–10 | Difficulty from 0–10]

Smile a lot [7|10]: smiling has been scientifically proven to lift moods, but sometimes it’s really hard to smile at someone when you want to just shake them really hard
Go for a walk, ideally in fresh air [6|5]: there’s really something about fresh air, a nice walk and time to think things through alone that helps bring perspective. But when I go back to the dark little cubicle, that brightened mood fades a little
Leave the situation [9|10]: if there’s a specific moment that has your blood boiling, sometimes it’s just best to leave the room. When you’re at a work meeting, it’s impossible. But reacting to a situation when your emotions are racing is generally never advisable
Talk to a fun friend [10|2]: I’ve been complaining a lot to the extent that I think people genuinely hate my face. And I usually don’t feel better afterwards. Plus, I don’t really get the advice I’m looking for. Because, let’s be honest, we all just want to hear what we want to hear. Oftentimes, real advice is a kick in the nuts. What I found to be more effective is talking to funny people or people who I know will make me laugh about irrelevant, random things. Sometimes I go on Facebook to read my friend Amanda’s hilarious posts. Anything that brings laughter or a smile (see first point) really helps, sometimes even more than just complaining and ranting
Don’t complain [7.5|10]: people like to say that you should express your feelings and afterwards you’ll feel better to get it out of your system. It’s better to have a cathartic moment rather than let everything build up. For me, I think complaining hasn’t worked. It’s made me pettier. It’s made me a sucky friend and human being. If I look at my life objectively, it’s fucking awesome. I have nothing to bitch about. And when I think about how fucking awesome my life is, I stop complaining and realize how good I have it
Do something you love [8|5]: lately, I’ve really liked playing the ukelele (Bieber’s “Love Yourself” has sort of become my fuck-you-anthem) and exercising. I think this might be specific to exercise, but whenever I go to the gym and hit the weights or run a few miles, I feel instantly better about myself and very optimistic about life. I get runner’s high and it’s the cheapest, coolest high ever
Give less fucks [10|10]: last but definitely not least, the monster of them all: give less fucks. I’ve read this great Medium article [here] that I find highly rewarding and effective. The number of fucks you have in a day, like your cognitive load, is a finite resource that depletes quickly. Spread your fucks out in the day. Don’t binge on your fucks in the morning and then spend the rest of the day hungover. Spend fucks wisely. And sometimes, it’s really not worth it to waste your fucks on a dumb situation or on dumb individuals. This one isn’t so much a tactic as a way of life. Building thick skin is one of my ultimate goals, and I haven’t yet mastered it yet

What do you guys do when you’re having an awful day/week/year?

Disclaimer/please-don’t-kill-me-note: by “awful day/week/year” I do mean in a first-world context from a person who does not have diagnosed mental health issues. Obviously if you cannot relate to being first-world and have actual depression or real anxiety, these tactics are not relevant to yourself.