Episode 2: Let’s Get Our Lie Straight

Serving Funeral LOOKS!

Heyyyyy y’all! Sunday has come and gone which means we were gifted with another episode of #ClawsTNT and this week was full of action. Let us jump straight into the recap.

SMH, these two!

In the beginning of the episode, we find our unlikely duo, Desna and Virginia, tryna discard Roller’s dead body. Y’all they tryna get rid of a body in broad daylight and both of them in 6 inch heels. Who taught y’all how to crime? Apparently nobody. Then you have Virginia getting inside the boat and touching shit. Fingerprints all over Roller grill. Chile. I. CAN. NOT. EVEN.

Mess. Mess. Mess.

As if it wasn’t enough that they are tryna get rid of his body on HIS boat, y’all there’s another body in the damn boat. DIS. TEW. MUCH. Anyway, they manage to get him in there and send Roller for an everlasting sail. What we did notice though is that Virginia is rolling her neck and smelling herself again. While they disposing of the body, she’s all “you can’t talk to me like this anymore.” Girl. Please. Y’all know Desna wasn’t here for the shit and essentially ignored Miss I’m Grown Now.

Back at the salon and everybody is accounted for except ya know Desna and Virginia. Polly and Jenn discuss Desna asking Polly to open up the shop for the day but they’re not really stressing it too hard. In the meantime, Quiet Ann done switched up the braids and baby she got a stalker swinging by bringing her baked goods and hoping to get some midday tongue.

Miss Ann, the original Ms. Steal Yo Girl

Listen. Desperate Housewife done came to Ms. Ann job wanting some of that good good. Quiet Ann with the loud mouth game. Bloop. Anyway, Ann ain’t feeling this drop in and makes up a lie about needing tongue surgery. Seriously, Ann? That’s not even a good lie. Well Desperate Dummy, is down to believe whatever and rather than putting two and two all the way together she just tryna find out how she gone get to the hospital to bring more goods. Girl. Get. A. Clue. She don’t want you!

Speaking of folks just swinging by the nail salon unannounced, Desna gets a call from Mandy (lady who’s coordinating Desna’s attempt to get her dream salon) and is told to be on her Ps and Qs because she is sending in a secret shopper of sorts. Could the timing be any worse for our girl? Nah. Not really. At the same time, little Miss I Don’t Listen has gone missing. Desna is calling and texting Virginia and this chick ain’t answering or nothing. Following instructions is not in her wheel of talents apparently. So Jenny not from the Block’s husband pops up at the salon in tears because Roller missing. Oh is he now? Wonder what happened. But homeboy is on full sob mode and everyone has to tell Desna. Desna gets the FAKE NEWS and sells it like nobody’s business. Seriously give her an Oscar, she brought out the tears and everything. Yes girl, fake cry. Fake cry.

Sell them tears Sis!

Buuuuuut lemme back up because y’all, while Desna on the search for China Doll the Manslayer, Miss Ann’s not so secret lover is BYKE!!!!! Home girl done bought a clue from Winn Dixie and she realizes Miss Ann done lied about tongue surgery. She done showed back up to the salon pulling a thin line between love and hate; its a spectacle. SPECTACLE. Inquiring minds wanna know just what kind of slick, tongue turning tricks ….. nevermind. Folks out watching this mess and it is a pure scene. Desna ain’t happy at all, and make Miss Ann get rid of her jilted lover. I am here for this nonsense.

Chile, this was me when Miss Ann boo showed up with hot sauce in her bag

Speaking of nonsense aka Virginia, Desna finds her in a dusty hotel hiding out, not following damn instructions. See Virginia doesn’t realize that Desna received a not-so-pleasant visit from Uncle Daddy at her salon once he found out that Roller was dead. Hell, Virginia don’t know that everyone now knows Roller is dead BECAUSE SHE DON’T LISTEN. Shit. So now Desna done concocted this lie that Virginia is visiting her sick mother and Uncle Daddy is hella skeptical and he wants Virginia head on a damn platter.

Desna is chief, you ain’t gone ruin my shit, and finds Virginia at a little rinky dink hotel. Virginia starts popping her gums about being grown as usual and Desna has to quickly set her straight. Desna lets her know that she’s created a cover for her but its only going to work if she comes back. Then, wait for it, Virginia tells Desna her mama is dead so their lie is a lie. DAMNIT.

Why can’t these two ever be on the same page? Ugh. I swear, they gone get each other killed. Desna is able to convince her that she needs to come back and lucky for them both because they really need to stick together to keep their story straight.

We learned quite a few interesting facts this episode:

A. Jenny not from the Block is Roller’s Sister in Law. Her husband is Roller’s brother. Side: we still don’t know how or why she has a black ass child but that’s another answer for another day.

B. Dr. Ken is reckless as FUCK! He was pushy last episode, but he done lost his last mind because bruh marched into their legitimate ass business demanding they make a run while they had customers; one of which was the SECRET SHOPPER. Got damn you KEN.

C. Little Polly Pocket is one helluva a liar! She at community service lying to some teens (where are their damn parents) about running a prostitution ring with Lamar Odom as a customer. She has ZERO chill. Little Polly is a Queen Con.

At the end of the episode, we find ourselves at Roller’s funeral and it is the most ratchet shit ever. EVER. There are strippers, a life size photo of Roller in his drawls and its all too much. Roller would’ve loved it. In comes Miss I Can’t Do Bad By Myself, Virginia and sis is in full ACTING MODE MAJOR. She is beat the hell up and claiming that someone had captured her and threatened to burn her like they burned Roller. Desna is a got damn genius. GENIUS. Salute her. This is where they leave us, and Sunday feels so far away. Let’s hope our Dynamic Duo, Desna and Virginia can pull this lie off; they ain’t start off so well. But we gone see. What did you think of this episode?