The Bum Gun Helps Crohn’s Disease Sufferer…

Greg Noland (MrBumGun)
Mar 21 · 6 min read
You don’t have to be a victim to your diagnosis

There are plenty of people who’ve had some really bad stuff happen to them. Victims of really bad stuff…

That sucks.

There’s no getting around it.

Sometimes life can be a real asshole and throw real mean curve balls at us.

But that doesn’t mean you have to be a victim of that assholery.

If you’ve been following any of my blogs the last few years then you’ll know I’m more of a trier…

More of a perserverer…

Than super-skilled. Gifted. Or blessed with a silver spoon.

And I hope you can learn from my stories of struggle. So you never give up. And always strive to realise your life goals and dreams.

For example, yesterday I finally accomplished a dream I’ve had for 27 years…

So what was my dream?

I visited the Cu Chi tunnels, about 45km north of Saigon.

You might think that’s not much of a life goal…

But you see, I grew up on the Vietnam War.

I shared a bedroom with a brother who was mad on it too. One thing I collected was a Vietnam War magazine series from the age of 11.

I couldn’t wait for each new edition to come out.

And over the years of collecting the magazine, one thing stood out for me.

It was the Cu Chi tunnels…

Basically, the Cu Chi tunnels was a massive 250km network of tunnels which played a huge part in beating the American superpower.

What always struck me was how the Vietnamese fighters could live and operate so deep underground for so long under intense hardship.

The ‘lucky’ ones stuck it out underground for 21 years!!


The cobra snakes, spiders, scorpions and insects would be small obstacles to face, compared to how the darkness and claustrophobia would play havoc on your mind.

In truth, I’m seriously claustrophobic after an aunt locked me in a tiny cupboard one afternoon. What was worse she shoved 2 huge plastic bags in so I had zero space to move or breathe.

So I believe I can understand a little what the Vietnamese people went through to fight claustrophobia more than the average guy.

But how about facing being smoked out by chemical gas when the Americans marines found an entrance?

Or dealing with a grenade being thrown down near you…

If you survived the blast, I’m sure your ear-drums wouldn’t.

Then how would you cope if the American GI’s flooded your tunnel?
These tunnels were only 40 x 40cm at most.

The traumatic panic must have been devastating!

Gasping for oxygen in complete darkness, deep underground.

WTF! Sends heapy geepies across my whole body just writing that sentence.

Especially as I was inside one of those tunnels less than 24 hours ago. Fighting my own confined fears.

Now let’s talk about being a modern victim today…

I’m a pretty lucky guy. I’ve only really had two major bad things happen to me in my life.

The first one was when I got dengue fever. In fact, I got it 3 times, but the first was by far the worst. (I’ll save that story for another day in case you haven’t heard it…)

The other thing was when my boss’ husband tried to kill me in his car.

He totally and suddenly flipped out and thumped the gas pedal so hard, we went from 50kph to 135kph in a matter of seconds.

Then he flipped the car, careering us into a concrete wall, killing himself and co-passenger.

Thankfully I survived. Full details another time…

But one guy who is fighting the ‘victim’ status is one of my best friends who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease about a year ago.

He doesn’t talk about it too much. However, he asked me to tell you about it because he wants me to help you, just as I have helped him.

So here we go…

First off, Crohn’s disease ruins people’s lives.

It’s nasty!

99% of people with Crohn’s disease are on intense medications. 70% of them get part of their intestines surgically removed.

Most sufferers live with some sort of chronic pain, constant diarrhea, other awful things, or all of the above.

When he was first diagnosed, the doctors literally gave him no information about it. They said, “eat some bland foods for a few days.” Seriously?

Thankfully, one of his relatives has Crohn’s and he helped steer him in the right direction. (Thanks he could help, not thanks he had Crohn’s)

He already followed a strict diet and knew that Gluten made him puke and other bad things when he had it. But he went stricter. He ate an AIP diet. Basically the strictest Paleo ever.

He lost 15 pounds that he didn’t want to lose.

But he said one of the worst things about Crohn’s disease was having diarrhea 10 times a day.

My own discovery of the benefits of The Bum Gun came after having diarrhea 13 times within 2 hours. So I can understand his pain a little.

But he was getting diarrhea every day.

Toilet paper can easily shred your skin using it once or twice a day.

Imagine having to scrape your skin 10 times a day, EVERY day. Ouch. Blinking ouch!

That’s when I encouraged my friend to try The Bum Gun.

Thankfully he loved it.

Double thanks goes to the sophisticated trigger on the Titan Bum Gun.

Unlike the cheapo bidet sprayers you find on eBay and Amazon, where the sprayer is off or on full whack!

The trigger mechanism on the Titan Bum Gun has been scientifically designed to be ultra-responsive.

This means you have maximum control of the water pressure.

Mega important when you have a super-delicate private area, like most Crohn’s disease sufferers.

You can achieve maximum ‘Shower Clean’ freshness without pain.

Haemorrhoid sufferers also love the trigger feature of the Titan Bum Gun for the same reason.

See, just because you have a disease, doesn’t mean you ARE the disease. It could just be part of a bigger story you’re telling yourself. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist. I’m just saying you don’t have to a victim to your diagnosis. You are NOT your diagnosis.

You are you.

The same can go for things like anxiety and depression. Or maybe you’re a victim to a shitty spouse. A rough childhood. Losing a close friend. Or maybe it’s even worse.

And again, I don’t mean to be insensitive or say that those things aren’t real.

What I’m saying is, you can’t choose your past. But YOU get to CHOOSE your future.

You don’t have to suffer like everyone else. You can live differently.

But it all starts with a choice that you won’t be a victim to your circumstances.

Live Your Dreams While You Can

I’ll tell you more crazy stories soon, but I have to hike up this mountain and back before it gets too dark. (Hint: I’m not fond of the dark either thanks to that same auntie.)

I’ll leave you with this before I go…

You are NOT responsible for what’s happened to you. But you are responsible for what you’re going to do.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a disability. Or deciding you’re going to achieve your dreams.

No matter how big or small, you can’t change your past or your upbringing.

But you do get to control your actions.

That’s why I’m in Vietnam right now realising my dreams and making the most of my life.

Anyways, I hope that helps. That’s all for now.

Talk soon,
Greg “let go of the victim story” Noland

P.S. If you want to write your own future and take full responsibility for your life I’d recommend you grab my Cu Chi offer. Just go HERE and grab your 22% discount for your very own the Titan Bum Gun. This offer could be taken down at any moment, so please be quick.

Greg Noland (MrBumGun)

Written by

@thebumgun. Stoked to help you richly improve the quality of your life. There is a life beyond abrasive toilet paper. You're gonna love it!!