Smerlin the Power Coffin
Ever been to a Citgo Station. I go once in awhile. Like, I bring a coffee, and sometimes a donut, or like, a bagel. And theres these guys in jumpsuits covered in grease, and dirt, you know, ‘cause they work at Citgo. And they’re filthy. But no, they’re good guys, they change your oil. So I like to go and uh, talk to them while they work, you know, ‘cause they like me, I guess. I don’t know. And sometimes I guess they whistle while they work.
I usually show up to Citgo in my Mustang, I love my Mustang. And its like loud. Because the engine goes, like, (makes engine revving sound with mouth). So I go to the Citgo with my Mustang, and my coffee and uh donut, or whatever. And I talk to this guy, Ermine Smitt, right, he’s got like bad teeth, and he looks like a very dirty Jesus Christ, type of guy. But he swears like a fucking sailor. But I like to talk to him, yea know, like about, my Mustang. And he listens to me talk for an hour. Right. And the whole time I’m telling him about my Mustang, his eyes start to look like plastic eyeballs, yea know. Like they glaze over. Then like, eventually, he’ll put on the radio. Elvis, man. You know Elvis? He’s the King. He’s dead now, but he used to be the King. But uh, Ermine Smitt, he loves the Elvis. And I think what it is, is, he’s had enough listening to me talk about my Mustang, right, so he just really cranks up the music to pretend I’m not there.
Sometimes I talk with another guy, though it depends on what day. But sometimes I talk with Cedric, who likes to smoke the uh (leans in and whispers) uh marijuana. Like in the garage when the manager isn’t there, yea know. I talk with Cedric, and he’ll actually like, talk with you, like have a conversation, right. He’s a real interesting guy. Like, he likes to touch things. I’ve noticed. He has this thing about chairs, and furniture. I see him leaning on, and rubbing his hands on the edge of the arm chair, when we’re talking. And like really, almost sensually, touch things. He has a real grace. You should see him sit on a chair though. My god, he is graceful the way he sits on a chair and caresses it. It almost makes a man hard, with respect. Then I go home. The whole thing takes about an hour and a half, two hours max.
The guys at Citgo, always joking with me, always talking shit. Guy talk, yea know. They say, “’got a girlfriend?” And they like laugh. And I always shake my head, and sip my hot coffee. One of these days I think I’ll surprise the Citgo guys, and show up with uh, my smoking hot girlfriend. Make them jealous, yea know. I’m still trying to figure out how to fuck with them, well really just Ermine Smitt. But I’ll fuck with Cedric too, like, as a bonus. ‘Cause like, one time, I gave Ermine Smitt, a ride to the hotel in my truck, right. I think he was high on drugs, ‘cause he don’t remember me. But, all I’m saying is, it would have been nice to get some gas money, or like, a ‘thanks’, yea know.