I’ve been trying to put this into words for myself for about 5 years.

Maybe your experience is common. We daydream ourselves as heroes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Life_of_Walter_Mitty_(2013_film). We are social animals and often add meaning to our experiences when other people share them with us. But I understand your frustration at requiring a witness to your dreams. Can you substitute other people in your imagination: your mom, friends, a crowd?