Seeing my husband as a gift, rather than an imposition, helped us deepen our relationship — It goes down as one of the most humiliating moments of my life. Here I was, a graduate student at Yale University, the school I’d dreamt of attending since childhood. But instead of making my way through the charming coffee shops of downtown New Haven or reading Thomas Aquinas in…

I didn’t get my first cell phone until I was 21. This was partly a function of timing; it was 2001, I had just graduated from college, I didn’t have a lot of money and cell phones were not nearly as ubiquitous as they are now. …

I had the pleasure of officiating my sister-in-law’s wedding a couple weeks ago. Below is the wedding sermon I wrote for that service. I left the first part out, which was more about the two of them and how they met. … Every part of this wedding: this ceremony, all…

I’m moving to San Diego. Everybody around me is ecstatic. They say, “Congratulations,” “You’re so lucky, I want to move down there!,” and “The air is so much cleaner than LA.” Everybody around me is thrilled…except me. It is something of a mystery to me exactly how and when I…

I interviewed the oldest people I know. Their responses contradict popular research about aging and happiness. — My preconceptions about older people first began to crumble when one of my congregants, a woman in her 80s, came into my office seeking pastoral care. She had been widowed for several years but the reason for her distress was not the loss of her husband. It was her falling…

A common conversation topic among clergy is whether or not we tell strangers what we do for a living. Air travel, for instance, poses a particularly stark dilemma. Nobody wants to be trapped in a potentially awkward and halting conversation with a stranger for hours on end much less be…

Inspired by Gretchin Rubin’s Habits Manifesto, I’ve compiled my own set of simple reminders that always guide me to happiness. I’ve gathered these over the years as pieces of wisdom that especially resonate with my personal experiences so I encourage you to create your own customized Happiness Manifesto. Whatever unfolds…

Occasionally, I hear enviable descriptions of preternaturally easy, harmonious and conflict-free marriages. Part of me can’t help but be a bit suspicious of such accounts, wondering if they are selective or curated images. As both a married woman and a minister who has the privilege of helping other marriages, my…

A minister sheds light on her overshadowed Christian community — A church member met with me recently to discuss her worries about her teenage son leaving behind his Christian faith. “He’s turning more towards science,” she said, with a worried look of heartfelt concern on her face. I responded with a smile, saying, “That’s wonderful that he’s turning to science…