A year and a half later, and here I am. New ways of thinking, new outlook on life, ready to start writing again, ready to start kicking out those negative thoughts that I have associated with something I love, ready to get better, ready to begin. Again. Woah, woops, well that’s cliche. But who cares? No, really, who cares? Nobody. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if you mess up, nobody cares if you get knocked down. Nobody talks about you then, and nobody thinks twice about how good you were you when you fell. It’s when you get back up and start pressing on that people start noticing, that’s when people start to admire you and encourage you. It might not be immediate, but it’s what happens. Sure, people will still remember those negative feelings toward you, those negative thoughts that got you feeling that way in the first place, but you can stop that. You can gather your proverbial belongings from the ground, dust the proverbial dirt off of your proverbial body and proverbial clothes, and get back to your real life and your real goals and your real people.

And that my friends, is what I’ve done. I mean, I only have like three friends at the moment, but that’s irrelevant to this topic. I’ve picked myself out of a dumpy situation, pulled myself out of my self-dug grave, and I’m back, with goals and ambitions and a full life ahead of me. With that said, I’m writing this from the mainland of China where I’m currently teaching myself Mandarin Chinese and learning myself in the ways of Chinese culture. It’s definitely one of the most fascinating things I’ve ever done. The sheer enormity of teaching yourself one of the most difficult languages in the world never daunted me until I really got into it, and by then, I was too far in to be daunted. So, my nineteen year old self, working his best to accomplish things he feels like he should do, putting negativity and sour attitudes behind him, has one thing to do. And that’s to do things with his life. Sitting around isn’t for me, and waiting for something interesting to happen isn’t for me either. I knew I was always going to do awesome things, but I always waited for someone else to make them happen.

Since last August, I’ve taken initiative, and it’s really paying off. Studying, writing, leading, and learning. It’s all a process, and it’s all fantastic. So much has happened in 8 months of taking initiative. I encourage you to get off of your butt, stop thinking about how sorry you are for yourself, start doing something with your life. If you’re already doing something with your life, good for you! You’re a part of the “I’m Doing Things” club. Make your choices, follow your heart, and live. More stories and more experiences to follow! 加油！ — Mark

P.S. Find me on IG @kramecrof

P.P.S. I haven’t edited anything in this little exciting rant, just as a little warning lable for the grammar nuts