42 Life Lessons From My Dad Who Just Turned 80
In November 1939, one of the most humble, equanimous, and open-minded person I know was born in Yokohama, Japan. In November 1995, 56 years later, I got to call him my Dad.

Here are 42 lessons I’ve picked up from his actions, advice, beliefs, character, (expressed) thoughts, hardships, mistakes, regrets, relationships, sacrifices, values, wishes, his stories about his upbringing, and overall philosophy of life. I initially wrote everything as one list, but I decided to divide them into four of the most important aspects of our lives for context:
On Health
- Don’t drink liquids with your food.
- Sleep 8 hours a day and take more naps as you age. Sleep at the same time every night and start your day at the same time every day.
- Don’t have a favourite food, so you don’t over-indulge. Everything and anything in moderation, always.
- Doctors are never always right. Stay attuned to what your body tells you. It will never let you down if you listen.
- Most medicines we depend on today are short-term solutions. The only long-term solution is to change your way of living. Oh and, avoid painkillers at all costs.
- Don’t just eat right, eat well. We only have one life, FFS.
- Walk often. And always keep your back straight.
On Work & Wealth
- Seeking status is a mental disease. Seek independence/freedom and wealth instead.
- Fame and notability spoil people. Stay anonymous.
- Someone is and will always make money off you.
- When you work, you have to retire. When you play, you never have to. The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s deterioration, decay, and decline.
- It takes decades to build a career. Be patient and stay focused. Work hard so you can eventually play.
- Read every day. Be open to the new things you learn. Nothing is bad or good — it’s all perspective.
- Don’t cut corners. It’ll end up cutting you.
- Live a debt-free life.
- Keep your word.
On Relationships
- Love whoever the hell you want.
- Put your whole self first, so you can love and care for your loved ones the way you have always wanted.
- Learn how to forgive yourself and others. Resentment, guilt, and anger can form into any shape, way, or form of illness if you don’t.
- Have kids. They are the master teachers of patience, acceptance, and unconditional love. They will make you know yourself as you’ve never known yourself.
- Your first heartbreak will change your life. For better or for worse is up to you.
- Give your kids the best education you can. It’s the one thing no one can take away from them.
- Don’t be an idiot. Marry the love of your life.
On Living
- The older you get, the more you realise you don’t know anything.
- Keep your mind and soul healthy, and your body will follow happily.
- Our lives are the sum of the good and bad choices we make, the habits we cultivate, and thoughts we form.
- We don’t find ourselves, we know ourselves.
- Speak more than three languages.
- Even if no one’s looking, be honest with yourself and others at all times. Even if they don’t know, you always will.
- Sometimes we lose, sometimes we learn. Either way, you always win.
- Learn how to play an instrument and enjoy it alone, without the need for praise. You’ll thank yourself when you’re old, alone or worse, both.
- Always control your temper — that visceral and hot-headed type of anger. And don’t hold on to it. It kills people slowly.
- Don’t fear loss and death. Accept it.
- Try anything once.
- Polish your shoes yourself.
- Have a sense of humour. If you can’t laugh at yourself, it’s going to be a loooooong life.
- Education doesn’t start and stop in school.
- Keep your religion/spirituality to yourself.
- Before intending to hurt someone with words, hold your tongue. You can’t ever take back what you say.
- Take any form of pain life throws at you. No matter how long it lasts, it will always pass.
- Luck is the combination of your persistence and fate.
- The days are short, but the decades are shorter. Love life to live, not live to love life.
I had intended to keep this list to myself. But I realised that goodness in life is shared best with those who may enjoy it with you, too. So I hope one or two lessons resonated with you. Or none. That’s perfectly alright too :)
Note: I’m not signaling I’ve learned them all. There are some I’ve learned and applied to my own life. There are some I believe have been passed down by some mirroring/conditioning. There can be some I may un-learn, and there will be some that I probably won’t (by choice). And of course, there are also lessons that I don’t agree with, but still, they are lessons nevertheless.
