Gleaming Thursday

Our autism journey

Lynn Browder
Jul 20, 2017 · 2 min read

That smile. That bigger than life, I got you wrapped around my little finger smile. That’s what he has been giving me all morning, after Owen initially woke up around four. I remember not sleeping a lot as a child, in fact I never wanted to sleep, even as an adult, but now I crave it. I want to sleep for a whole day. Or five more minutes. That would be nice. I tried to slouch down a little on the couch, maybe close one eye for a couple minutes. Not on Owen’s watch. The minute my body aimed for comfort on the couch his anxiety level shot up. The couch is not for sleeping, nor using blankets, but it is used for sitting and jumping according to him. Since I’ve laid down Owen crawled in my arms, after coming and pulling my hair five times. I stated, do not pull my hair. I often wonder does he not hear the word “not”. I try the phrase another way “don’t pull my hair”. Maybe that’s still too long, so I try, don’t, no, stop. The words are supposed to be direct and to the point. This directness is supposed to come out of my mouth instead of the flowery, over-explained voice of here’s my heart and let me show and tell you the story of how I came into existence, with the back story of how we know the earth is round and that I seem to always want pizza on Tuesdays and donuts every day. Me, I’m supposed to give short to the point directions. Mix all of this is with a very determined Owen and I’m now holding him with my eyes closed struggling to stay awake until I realize I know am holding a laughing Owen, with his big toe shoved completely up my nose. Guess who doesn’t want me to sleep, especially on the couch. I’m not sure who started that rule, but it wasn’t me. He hasn’t said many words to me today, that big toothy grin is about it. He’s sang some songs, but they are in his own language or maybe it’s a foreign language, he listens to a lot of videos in different languages. To him it’s all one big happy language soup and he mixes it all together in a way that makes sense to him. Owen has come a long way, he is finding his voice, and we are growing Owen. That’s what we do. Believe in the hope of tomorrow, from the inspiration of today. Smiles to all and donut daze!

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Lynn Browder

Written by

I am on a mission to spread autism awareness, compassion, love and understanding. I have a five year old son, Owen who has autism. Love music and comedy.

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