Rote Thursday

Our autism journey

Repeat, repetition, repeat, repetition, and then repeat again. The words, the actions, and the responses all should be the same. Owen is repeating the words off a video and I’m supposed to respond correctly, saying the next words so he can repeat it again. I’m going back and forth, some times repeating exactly the words and then other times adding in a couple words of my own. He looks at me, I have broken the rules. Right now it isn’t phasing him too much, but I can see the look in his face telling me that it isn’t the correct response. There are days that I don’t upset the apple cart, I say it exactly as I’m supposed to. The rules govern our days. His words and interactions are becoming greater all the time, but the need for consistency is also there. Being able to know what happens next helps Owen to process his day. He looks back at his yellow chair. It’s sitting in the middle of the floor. He likes it sitting in a certain direction. It’s facing the wrong direction, he let that go. Other days this would be cause for great concern. He looked at it again. His tablet and food are distracting him, but I can feel the little bit of anxiousness that is moving forward. He walked past the chair, not moving it, but still looking at it. There is progress in that. Even through anxiousness he walked past it. I often wonder how to help his anxiousness, if there would be a way to redirect him. I’ve tried so many different ways. He was watching a video on his tablet one day and every time he got to a certain part he would scream out in angst. He kept repeating it, over and over again, and each time the same thing would happen. I would talk to him about it, move the video forward, and he would still put it back to the same spot. I took the tablet away from him, we painted for awhile. I handed his tablet back to him, he opened to the videos, and found the same one again. Same steps, same actions for another ten minutes. He had to work through those emotions, those feelings, and reactions before he could move on. I couldn’t stop the train even if I wanted to, he needed to get it all out. I still try to redirect, but I’m learning that doesn’t always work. I had my foot on the chair, he gave me a look, he walked towards me, I moved my foot off the chair, and he walked away. He didn’t move it to the right direction, but he didn’t want my foot on it at all. Some days I try to keep the peace, let the calm stay by following the rules. Other days I suppose I push the limits. He needs to understand that all things don’t stay the same, but I have yet to figure out how to explain this to him. Today he is happy, laughing, singing, and full of SONshine, and this makes me happy. Life is not always easy to explain, it doesn’t always make sense, but through love it makes it so much better. Growing Owen is what we do. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

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