Something About Sunday
Our autism journey

I have come to the conclusion I use the word “don’t” a lot. Don’t put chicken in your toes, don’t pick up the couch with your feet, don’t pick your nose and eat it, don’t smear poop; just to name a few. I hadn’t used the last one for a long time, until yesterday. I had been asking Owen if he wanted to go to the potty for a few minutes, and then I hear, “wanna take a baff”, but really all I wanted to do was cry. I knew what that meant. I knew what was happening. I knew that the rollercoaster of emotions would wash over me. And I knew I wanted to be in a ball on the floor, crying. I was five feet from Owen, but he was sitting on the floor so I couldn’t see him. I had been talking to him the whole time, and yet here we were back at what I felt was square one. For a month he has been going to the potty, sometimes multiple times in a row. So much progress, and one moment in time feels like we backtracked a hundred years. I have to remember that it will be fine, that moment doesn’t take away all the success we have had, but I cried a river about it. We had a very busy day yesterday, a lot of activity for Owen. We were on the go a lot, and some of it completely out of routine. This does not go over well with Owen. It took a lot for us to do everything we did yesterday. But it’s one of those things that it’s good to go out, and experience new things, even if it is hard for us. He wants nothing to do with the potty today. We’ve gone a couple times, me pushing the boundaries, him right on the edge of a meltdown. What do I let him get away with, if that’s even a thing, maybe it’s about processing it all for the moment. How am I supposed to know what to do at this moment. For a month now he has been consistent with me, and now one little bump in the road leaves me wondering what to do. Push forward, keep asking, keep taking him, keep talking to him, and tell myself it will all be fine. Today Owen hasn’t left my side for long, allergies have got ahold of my generally, very active sweet baby O. The rain outside reflects my mood, praying for a good week, and for Owen to feel better. Find your strength, let yesterday go, and walk on the positive side of life. Smiles to all and donut daze!
