Traditional Thursday

Our autism journey

My thoughts fade back to an Easter egg hunt I took Owen to a few years ago. It had lots of areas to run and look at and several jumpy houses. They even had a special needs section. I remember the look in Owen’s eyes. It was a lot for him. He was three. I started to walk with him to the special needs section, but to get to it we had to walk past one of the jumpy houses. He had learned what this was a few months before and he was ready to go in it again. The only problem was then line. It was around the corner. Owen ran to the front of the line, ready to go in. I had to stop him. He couldn’t cut and he didn’t understand why. Once I got him away from it there was no turning back to find eggs in the special needs section, because all he wanted to do was jump. I left there with a very distraught Owen. On Saturday we are supposed to go to an Easter egg hunt again for special needs kids. My heart races thinking about it. Maybe it will be only eggs, maybe no other distractions, maybe I won’t cry. Owen doesn’t understand what holidays are. We talk about them, we sing songs about them and I cry. about them. And then I cry more because maybe he understands completely about the holidays, but he can’t translate it into words. As Saturday approaches I’m anxious, happy, sad, bewildered and maybe praying for rain a little. Sometimes things are out of my comfort zone as much as they are for Owen, because I’m always waiting for the what-ifs to happen. I will stay strong. We will go and I will let the day be as it should. I will learn, grow and cry like I always do and hug my baby boy tight. Remember you are not alone. Today is a brand new day. Let yesterday go and rejoice in the new things to come. Smiles to all and donut daze!

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