Translating Symbols Into Words

52 Week Writing Challenge

Lynn Browder
Jul 30, 2017 · 3 min read

I stretched and made a loud yawning noise, almost a growl. It was kinda expressing how I was feeling. Owen ran to me, smirk in place, got on my lap, grabbed my neck, and growled with me. He laughed.

As he walked away, he looked back and I started signing the alphabet to him. A big smile came across his face and he began singing the alphabet. He laughed as he was doing it. I laughed too. The more connections I can find for him, the more connections he is finding for himself. I am fascinated by this. I used to sing and sign at the same time, now he sings while I sign. Progress is coming.

I asked Owen if he wanted to count with his fingers. He ignored me and walked away. I asked again. He really doesn’t like to do it. He can’t make his fingers hold the numbers up as I count. I have to take his fingers and move them in order. Counting to five is a real struggle for him, but he is getting better at it all the time.

When I discipline Owen there is a thin line between a tantrum and a meltdown. I took his tablet away from him, because he kept standing in the window and on the couch arm, and then jumping off. I told him I was going to take it away if he did it one more time.

He went straight from laughing to being upset, and then right into meltdown. I kept trying to imagine it was a tantrum, but he couldn’t process it, full meltdown it was.

He walked around screaming for about 15 minutes and then he started saying “where’s purple” repeatedly. This is one of the strategies I’ve worked with him on to come out of the meltdown. He got there himself today. During a meltdown he goes through a lot of emotions and so do I. I can’t tell you how many times I think about people that live in apartments. Owen screams a lot, so much that every once in awhile the neighbors will say, I’m sorry Owen has been having so many rough nights. My walls are at least twelve feet from theirs, can you imagine a family in an apartment, or that don’t have caring neighbors that live next to them. My heart aches for the families that struggle with those circumstances.

Love, compassion, and understanding go a long way to cross the bridge of autism. I tell you our story not because I want you to feel sorry for us, but because the next time you hear a child screaming in a restaurant or store, just maybe they might not be a “brat”, (that was the word I heard used the other day to describe a screaming child) they might have autism.

My son is my world, but autism is as emotional for the parent as it is for the child. Going to the store is an emotional battle for me, because I know he is going to scream and I know there will be stares. I’m learning how to deal with my emotions, I learning how to deal with Owen’s, maybe one day I will conquer the screams.

I sat holding Owen after his meltdown, talking to him, moving his fingers to count to five. I wanted him to focus on something else, trying to find a way to bring peace back to him, back to me. This journey is not always easy, but always filled with love. Today and always, growing Owen is what we do.

Autism wasn’t important to me, until autism was important to me.


If you have any questions always feel free to ask. I will try to answer them the best I can, or see f I can find the answer.

Please follow me on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/sweetbabyowen/

Lynn Browder

Written by

I am on a mission to spread autism awareness, compassion, love and understanding. I have a five year old son, Owen who has autism. Love music and comedy.

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