What Comes With Autism

52 Week Writing Challenge

What is autism. Why does it have ahold of my baby. How did this happen. Why. You would think the questions would stop, the answers would be there and I would let go. I don’t. I think I do, but I don’t.

Autism is a developmental delay that affects each person in a different way and can have multiple aspects to it. There are so many parts to autism and can display itself in each individual differently. Numerous other conditions can also affect them.

I remember the day the babysitter called to tell me Owen was shaking and unresponsive. By the time she got me on the phone he was acting like nothing happened and was focused again. She had called the paramedics and I rushed to me baby.

The minutes seemed like days until I got to him. I couldn’t think, did I stop at all the lights, did I run through some, why can’t I speed for something like this. It seemed like it took forever. I kept looking for a cop so I could get them to escort me to Owen, I kept driving.

I parked weird, I ran in the door and dropped to the ground. Owen was running back and forth to the paramedics. He was laughing with them and was completely in the now. He walked up to me and was looking at me and his expression was like hi mom. Me, I was a nervous wreck. The paramedics had evaluated him and saw all his vitals were normal. They didn’t suggest they take him to the hospital, but for me to go to his doctor. They knew that he would be waiting for hours at the hospital only to have to go to the specialist for scans another day.

I called his doctor and we went straight there. Owen was acting like nothing had happened to him. Thankfully the babysitter was aware of what was going on and was able to capture a video of the situation. The doctor watched the video asked me questions about the before, during and after moments. Because of what she saw in the video she was not as concerned about it and didn’t think he needed to be admitted to the hospital. She did set up an appointment with a brain specialist and Owen had several scans that would follow.

The fear stayed with me. I watched Owen like a hawk. I didn’t want to let him out of my sight. The doctor had told me the signs to look for and when I would need to bring him. in or if I should call the doctor’s office.

One of his therapist came to the house for his appointment and as she was walking in we both turned to Owen and he was visibly shaking and staring blankly. We started talking to him and it seemed like an eternity, but it was really way less than thirty seconds and he was looking at us again. The scans and appointments couldn’t come fast enough.

He went through multiple brain scans and then we went to the doctor. Epilepsy is common with people that have autism and I was worried for Owen. I sat there anxiously waiting for the doctor’s words. He said there showed no signs of epilepsy and the scans looked normal. We talked about what normal meant. We talked about what could come of all this. The doctor listened to my concerns and helped me through the rough spots. He wanted me to watch and observe Owen and if he had anymore “spells” then I was to contact them, otherwise we would have a follow up appointment, but he said I shouldn’t worry, I worry, to this day.

Owen hasn’t had anymore spells, as the doctor called them, but my concern is always there. My concern is for epilepsy and for other things that I need to watch for. One day at a time. I focus on the here and now and that he is doing amazing, but there is always that tinge of worry. I see new growth in Owen. He went for a well checkup and the doctor was really pleased with his progress for everything. I hope those spells stay a distant memory, but it is a reminder for me to cherish every day with Owen, and to take our health seriously.

Autism wasn’t important to me, until autism was important to me.

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