Being Responsible To Others Does Not Mean Taking Responsibility For Them …

Conscious Self-Responsibility

There is a common misconception in the realm of what it means to be a responsible person, that often sets us up for victim consciousness. We often fall for the notion that the responsible thing to do is to take responsibility for those we love. “After all,” we erroneously think, “isn’t that what we are supposed to do for our loved ones? Isn’t that what caring is all about?” In actuality, assuming responsibility for others is not a loving or kind thing to do at all.

Perhaps the best place to start is to define the fundamental difference between what it means to be responsible to others, as opposed to taking responsibility for them.

When we take responsibility for others because we believe, on some level, that they are unable or incapable of taking care of themselves, we are not doing them any favors. Actually we are seeing and treating them as if they are helpless victims, and, in so doing, we unwittingly set ourselves up to feel taken advangtage of, unappreciated, and victimized accordingly.

Whereas when we are responsible to others, we respond from a place of mature clarity, in awareness of what is theirs to handle, and what is ours. The difference is simple yet profound.

As a matter of fact, The essential first step to moving off the Victim Triangle is to assume self-responsibility. (which, by the way, has nothing to do with blaming ourselves.)