The F Word
There seems to be a lot of talk about the F word at the moment. I for one am glad that we are talking about it, even if I don’t like a lot of what is being said. Any form of conversation is better than nothing when there are still things to be say.
Unfortunately, feminism is a word that seems to have a nasty connotation to it. I have heard that feminists are whiny, ungrateful and making a fuss over nothing, men have it hard too you know!
There is the argument that we have equality now, especially for the white western woman. Feminists have been bleating too long and should be focusing on getting what they want rather than complaining about their predicament.
My own business has its roots in feminism, my clients will be predominantly women, who for one reason or another have lost sight of their sense of self. They are putting their careers, families or responsibilities before their own happiness. Tell me what part of that isn’t an issue of gender inequality?
There are enough women out there who feel so overwhelmed and exhausted by life, that they feel guilty when they do anything for themselves. There are so many that I am able to make a living through helping them.
The fact is that many women in the western world have a great difficulty putting themselves first. We as women are encouraged to be caring and nurturing, to think of our roles in life in relation to others. I’m talking about generalisations and stereotypes I know, but they are very alive and very real ones all the same.
The majority of laws in western countries may treat the sexes equally. Society however still has a lot of opinions about the choices we make, based on our gender. Being the one who walks her own path, who does things differently to her mother, her grandmother, her friends, and her peers often gives you a rougher ride.
The decision to be a woman with a career or one who gives it all up for her children are normalised stereotypes. It often appears as if there are only two choices. The suggestion has been made that somehow feminism has damaged women by encouraging them to go into the workplace, to the detriment of themselves, their families and to the women who wants to be a stay at home mums.
Men are not excluded from feminism and the fight for gender inequality. Men do indeed have it hard too. The guy who stays at home to raise his children, allows his son to play with dolls, wants to take up ballet dancing or become a nurse. People seem to have a lot more opinions and judgements about these men compared to the man who does the “conventionally male” thing. The strive for gender equality is about both sexes and anyone who considers themselves in between them too.
The laws of our countries give us rights, responsibilities and freedoms. This includes the right to love who we choose, what happens to our bodies, our access to education, to work, our ability to have a voice and to take action.
Presently and historically, men have not been constrained by the laws of their land to the same extent as women. Both sexes are however affected by the societal ideologies and pressures that exist. This is not something true only in the western world.
Feminism, or any strive for equality is about choices and who has them. Not just the laws but the unwritten rules, the stories we tell, the comments we make and how we make people feel about their choices.
Feminists have been bleating on for a long time but trust me, what they are talking about affects you. Regardless of your sex, race, religion or ethnicity. There are to be discussions to be had about gender and our experience of it.
