Success. I was always led to believe that success meant fame and fortune. But now I realize that success is being able to experience life to the fullest. That means always being present in the moment and not having your head blocked in the future or the past. Success to me is feeling like you have creative freedom and realizing that chasing money is the fool’s errand. To find and do what you love after however much work it takes to find it or get there. How it’s important to have hobbies and not take yourself so seriously. I’ve done a lot of excess unnecessary worrying over the past few years, with my head living in the future and reconsidering the past, contemplating why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling. How it’s important to follow your authentic c voice and stop worrying about what people think and to stop pretending to be somebody I’m now. To stop comparing myself to celebrities and people, I hardly know. TO stop living half-heartedly, pretending to care about things that I don’t rally care about. To stop conforming to others expectations because I haven’t found myself. Ultimately two faced without realizing it. It’s really exhausting to have to fit into a different mold for every person. I wish to be authentic in all areas of my life. I realize that I do worry about money too much and that I really don’t want to work a 9–5 job. I realize I love writing and I’m learning how to code, which is really another language of the 21st century. I need to let myself have fun making music again, instead of stressing about how it will one day pay the bills. I need to let go of the people I was trying to be, and instead, write my own story and be myself. The books steal like an artist has helped me to stop worrying about finding myself before I make anything, and Paul Graham’s essays have really helped me get my head straight. My brother also sent me a post full of affirmations for entrepreneurs and I printed it out to look at when I feel myself start thinking about things in the future or outside my control. I’ve done so much worrying over the past few years, but now I realize that there’s no excuse and reason to do that when I could be making art for fun instead.
“Angels fly becaues they take themselves lightly.”