Trojan Horse

Sam
Sam
Nov 4 · 2 min read

I haven’t been in a single relationship where I haven’t felt let down in the end. They were all wonderful men in their own ways but that’s just how it went.

I guess I can call my last ended relationship a Trojan horse because I felt really safe in it like it would flow as timelessly as a river. Then he just got up and decided he didn’t love me anymore one day. Just like that. Like his heart iced over or like a watch crusted with rust unable to move hands.

So when I say I understand that you are hurting, I do. And when I say it gets better, i know it does. Sometimes I guess there just aren’t any answers. I still don’t get why he left. I think making peace with the fact that you won’t get answers is helpful.

If you are lucky, the person will have the decency to explain to your face their reasons for calling it quits. Be grateful for that even if nothing is making sense to you and a dark star is exploding in your chest.

It hurts but people have the right to leave and to do what’s best for them. At the end of the day, that’s what we should all be doing- what’s best for you. But hopeless romantics always put others first with no contingency plan for themselves. It doesn’t sound very romantic but you should be your first priority. That’s one thing I’ve learnt- to know when to be selfish in the right ways.

And also to be honest with myself. You gotta be honest with yourself too. Are the things your former partner pointed out about what went wrong true and worth working on? Are they the ones with the problem, is it you, or you both? Are there ways you can be better, not for the sake of someone else, but for yourself? If that’s true then do all you can to be the person you need to be for yourself.

On the other hand the fact that you have flaws doesn’t make you any less worthy of love. We are all learning to be better and we are all flawed. You are worthy of love. Don’t let your self perception be determined by someone else. You are made and loved by a supreme beautiful God. I think that’s incredible and enough for us to know we are good enough. Take your time, go through the motions and heal. Life doesn’t end here. You’re so young (at every age), the world is so big, there’s plenty more people to fall in love with when you are ready. And when it’s right, they won’t leave. You are so messily beautiful by the way. I couldn’t help but point that out.

Signed,

Sam.

X

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade